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Thursday, 8 March 2012

Mixtape: Best of Industrial

Hey there and welcome to another one of my Mixtapes. Now, this Mixtape was really hard to compile, that's why it's a day late. Why? Because Industrial music is really hard to tab down. There's so many influences that helped made the genre, and there are so many influences from Industrial music that helped shape music today. It's a hard genre to define, but it's been here since the early 1980s and if it didn't exist, dance music, electronica, metal, and alternative rock would not be the same. It's a fact.


So what have I defined as Industrial? Well, you can root it back to the early eighties. Arguably the first ever proper Industrial band was Skinny Puppy, but of course, there were bands that influenced Skinny Puppy to make the sound they made, and there were a few bands around that time that while aren't Industrial as a sole genre, they also helped to the rise. Bands like Killing Joke, Bauhaus, Ministry, KMFDM and Kraftwerk are all bands that in some way, shape or form, helped Industrial music to become what it has been in the eighties, nineties and naughties.

But, and you can argue I'm biased in saying this, but to me, the band that pioneered Industrial music is Nine Inch Nails. A lot of the 1980s Industrial lacked melody, it sounded great but it was repetitive and became almost brainless music. But Nine Inch Nails added melody, added quality vocals and also started using groundbreaking electronic metal music to add to the machinery sound that was Industrial music. As I said, I could be biased, as Nine Inch Nails are my favourite band.


Not familiar with my Mixtapes? Here are the rules.

A Mixtape is a playlist of a certain genre, band or era. The list is generally 80 minutes long, the same length of a blank CD, with further recommendations if some of the songs aren't to your taste. Remember kids, downloading is wrong! 

This list you'll see below isn't just Industrial music. It's a celebration of the sound, and the sounds that have been influenced by Industrial music. Industrial music has been used in so many genres since the boring machine sound of the eighties, it's used in dance music, techno, alternative rock, indie, metal and most recently, dubstep. You name the genre, chances are Industrial had an assist in there for making the genre what it is today. So there's a lot of bands here that aren't Industrial. But I've selected certain songs by those bands, that have roots from the Industrial genre, and have them showcase how good the sound can be when done perfectly. I have some eighties industrial, nineties industrial, some electronic dance music and some heavy industrial metal. Enjoy my homage to Industrial music.
  1. I'm Deranged - David Bowie
  2. Parasite - How to Destroy Angels
  3. Break - Saul Williams
  4. Comprachicos - Pendulum
  5. Pro-test - Skinny Puppy
  6. Inside - Gravity Kills
  7. Stinkfist - Tool
  8. Jesus Built My Hotrod - Ministry
  9. After the Flesh - My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult
  10. More Human Than Human - White Zombie
  11. The Everlasting Gaze - Smashing Pumpkins
  12. Vena Cava - Angelspit
  13. Tight - Mindless Self Indulgence
  14. Feuer Frei! - Rammstein
  15. The Biggest and the Best - Clawfinger
  16. When Worlds Collide - Powerman 5000
  17. Wrong - Jerk
  18. Die MF Die - Dope
  19. The Great Destroyer - Nine Inch Nails
  20. Demonoid Phenomenon - Rob Zombie
  21. Burning Flag - Marilyn Manson
Don't like some of these? Give these five a try...
  1. Let's Go - KoRn
  2. Break You Down - Godhead and Marilyn Manson
  3. Start a War - Static-X
  4. Zerospace - Kidneythieves
  5. New Disease - Spineshank
So I hope you enjoy this list. As I said, some of these bands are not Industrial, but I hope you understand their inclusion in the list. They have roots from the genre, and like to implement it into their modern sounds.

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Monday, 5 March 2012

The Mercy Side: Building a Dynasty

Hey there and thanks for joining me for my first football article in three and a half months. Things are a little different for this article though, I’m not going to talk about Liverpool. No I’m not talking about England either. I’m going to talk about Chelsea.

Unless you’ve lived under a rock (or, are not a football fan and if that’s the case why are you even reading this?) you might have heard that Chelsea manager Andre Villas Boas was sacked yesterday. Some have said it was justified. I mean, since Roman Abramovich has come in with his billions of pounds, no manager has had a worse percentage win rate or a worse points-per-game rate. He managed the team for 40 games, and only won half of them. Not since Glen Hoddle, sixteen years ago, has in fact done worse than Villas Boas. But they never built Rome in a day, and if Roman Abramovich wants to build a dynasty, he needs to have a long-term plan.

Villas Boas was perfect for Chelsea. It’s probably quite a controversial thing to say, but it’s my humble opinion that this was so. Why? Chelsea needed a young, fresh mind. Villas Boas was seen as a ‘new Mourinho’, a Portugese mastermind with a keen eye for tactics. He did wonders at Porto, and is an exceptionally young manager at the age of 34; Henrique Hilario is two years older, Paulo Ferreira, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba, only one year younger. Some could say too young, but I’m of the opinion that it doesn’t matter how young or old a manager is, all that matters is that they’re a strong character and can back up their skills with style.
Andre Villas Boas.
And Villas Boas did just that. For a man of 34, he had balls. He did, truly. When criticised on Match of the Day, or by other pundits, he’d actually call them out and tell them where to go. He was a frank man; always spoke his mind and was vocal in a way a leader should be. I really liked Villas Boas, and I’m a Liverpool fan, as I’m sure many of you are aware. He was deep in the thick of it and while he did struggle to swim against the tide, he gave it his best shot.

As I said, he’s 34 years old, and was put in that job for one reason – long-term success. If you put a manager at a football club for long term success you have to realise that you’re going to struggle short term because of it. It’s impossible to build a house without creating your base. Andre Villas Boas was entering a Chelsea team that was in the middle of transition, a team that still IS in the middle of transition. The old guard are getting older; Petr Cech and Jose Bosingwa are 29, John Terry, and Ashley Cole are 31 and Frank Lampard is 34. And this is the most chosen starting 11 for Chelsea this season. This is the starting 11 that Villas Boas was looking to, to ‘freshen’ this aging side.

I’m not saying Villas Boas is faultless in this torrid Chelsea season. He decided to bench Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba a lot, and back instead an inconsistent Ramires and an absolutely atrocious Fernando Torres. This has been difficult for Villas Boas, I mean, it says something that 33 year old Frank Lampard has scored more goals for Chelsea than any other player this season. He is still required; it’s as simple as that. But when you have a Drogba that’s a shadow of his former self, looking backwards instead of forwards, also at the age of 33 but your £50 million striker just can’t score, what else can you do?
The 'old guard' aren't getting any younger.
The Fernando Torres situation is difficult for Chelsea and was for Villas Boas. Obviously from a biased Liverpool perspective it’s great, we got £50 million big ones and got Luis Suarez and Andy Carroll, who are looking better and better as the season is going on. But if I’m being unbiased here, Torres-gate is awful for Chelsea. To spend such a big amount of money on a player, and he just can’t score is terrible. What can you do in a situation like that? Sell him? It’s not as easy as that. With him not scoring he’s not going to be sold for a decent price. Also, we all know that Torres, when motivated, when on form, can be the deadliest striker in the world. I mean that by the way, and that’s not me being a biased fan.

Villas Boas was trying to freshen things up. He bought 20 year old Oriol Romeu, 18-year-old Romelu Lukaku and the excellent 23-year-old Juan Mata, while selling 29 year old Alex and 32-year-old Nicolas Anelka. The age of the squad was definitely getting younger. And the old guard all got a chance; they’ve all played games this season, with mixed results. It’s not as if Drogba and Petr Cech have had stellar seasons. It was a tough job for him. It’s a tough ask for anybody, you can’t inherit say that Villas Boas was the reason everything went wrong, just like you can’t say that Jose Mourinho was the main reason Chelsea did so well. Mourinho came to Chelsea in 2004 and won the title that season. Well done Mourinho. But seven of the eleven were players he inherited by Claudio Ranieri. Here’s the squad:

Cech
Ferreria
Carvalho
Terry
Gallas
Makalele
Tiago
Lampard
Cole
Duff
Gudjohnsen

There’s the 7 players inherited from the team left by Ranieri. And then Mourinho continued to lay more foundations onto this team, and they were the best team in England for a good few years. But then Manchester United, and Alex Ferguson kept renewing his squad, and took the mantle again. It’s no coincidence. If you want to look at building football dynasties all you have to do is look at Manchester United now, and Liverpool in the eighties. Year and years of one step backwards, two steps forward. But Abramovich will never let his managers take that second step forward, apart from Mourinho, who was a very special manager, and also inherited the nucleus of an excellent squad.

Kenny Dalglish and Bob Paisley are two of Liverpool’s most successful managers, but history says if it wasn’t for Bill Shankly, they wouldn’t have inherited world beating squads. Alex Ferguson has continuously shed his squad’s skin, to make them a world force for the past 25 years. His longevity as manager, as well as the patience shown by the ‘powers that be’ in the United hierarchy, gives him the patience and time to rebuild his squad again and again. United sucked at certain times in the past 25 years. In fact, they sucked in the late eighties. But Ferguson being one of the best managers in world football even 25 years ago, along with the patience and time given there, and the collapse of Liverpool, meant that Ferguson has rarely looked back since winning his first title back in 1993. United weren’t very good from 2003 to 2007. But as I said, Ferguson shed the skin of the squad, got in some fresh youth and good buys, combined that with the good of what he still had, and then became a great force again.

So, I don’t really blame Villas Boas. You have some very strong personalities in that squad, a strong set of older players who can’t take it they’re slowly starting to get past their best, and would rather they stay in that squad, with their big salaries and even bigger egos, than accept that it may be time to move on, and let the youngsters have a go. They’re too afraid of their positions in their squad, and the money they earn, that they’d rather sacrifice their manager than their positions in the team. Look at Jamie Carragher. Is he happy to be on the bench? No, but he’s not complaining about it. Frank Lampard has been scoring goals, so it is a slightly different situation, but at the same time the principle is there.
Bill Shankley built a dynasty. He'd have no chance under Abramovich.
But the person at fault the most is Roman Abramovich. How is a manager supposed to operate a team if the owner doesn’t place the trust in him, and instead of the rebellious players? The players control the dressing room, and it’s not right. And when they get taken down a notch, they complain to the owner, who takes their side. How long must the older players be selfish before the managers don’t want to take the chance and manage Chelsea? It’s pathetic.

Abramovich has quite a lot of models to take inspiration from. In the past you have Liverpool. The 1960s Shankly built the base. In the 1970s and 1980s Bob Paisley, Joe Fagan and Kenny Dalglish built the dynasty. In the present, you have Manchester United, and in the 1990s and 2000s Alex Ferguson has made his base, built his dynasty and maintained it.

And for the future? Well, who can predict it, but at the moment you can look at Manchester City. Yes City have more money than Chelsea do, but it’s comparing a billionaire to a billionaire in the end of the day. But under City, Roberto Mancini has built a base. If they win the league or not this season, they’re currently building their dynasty. Mancini started by taking the reins from Mark Hughes, finishing 5th in 2010 and getting to the semi finals of the Carling Cup, then 3rd last season and winning the FA Cup. This season at the moment they’re top of the league. As I said even if they don’t win the league chances are they’ll be mighty close to the champions, where as they finished 9 points adrift last season. Of course all of this could be pointless if the Sheiks at City sack Mancini if he ‘fails’ and doesn’t win the league, but I just feel the Sheiks seem to have more patience, much more. Mancini could have been sacked once or twice so far, so it seems like he’s given more time there than any Chelsea manager gets from Abramovich.
Like it or not, but Alex Ferguson didn't just build a dynasty, he's maintained it.
In the end, history is there to show that long term planning usually means better prospects. Newcastle sacked loads of managers and have been relegated and promoted for that. Liverpool are evidence that long term planning is usually the way, so are Manchester United. Arsenal and Everton have long term managers and have had mixed results, but mixed to exceptionally positive results at that; Arsenal were once The Invincibles, not to mention that at one point Everton got 4th place and a Champions League spot under David Moyes. Roman Abramovich really needs to be patient. Andre Villas Boas could have been something ‘special’ at Chelsea, but he never was going to be short term, not with that dressing room. The next manager really needs to get rid of some of those troublemakers and hope to god that the signings they make are instant successes, like Mourinho’s were in 2005. Otherwise it looks like Chelsea will continue to struggle to stay at the top of the English league pyramid. Which is fine for me; as it means Liverpool have more chance of building success. But from an unbiased perspective, it’s bad for Chelsea.

Do you agree? Disagree? Should Villas Boas have been sacked? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below. Thanks for reading.

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Thursday, 1 March 2012

1992 in Music Review

Hey everyone, welcome to the eighth edition in a series of reviews of a year in music. So far I have covered all the 2000s together as the Noughtie series, and so far monthly, the year 1999, then 1998, followed by 1997 and 1996, 1995, 1994 and then last month, 1993.

Just in case you’re not familiar with it, here’s the format. It will be done in five parts. I'll do a brief history of what happened in that year, followed by my five favourite albums of the year, then what I think the five best videos are. I'll then do a Top 10 most impactful (still refraining from using the word important) songs from that year. To wrap it up, I'll do my favourite songs in a mixtape format. So now that you know where I'm going with this, let's get to it!

I’m really happy with the way 1992 in Music turned out. I definitely don’t remember this year from my birth, I was three years old. There was no way I could. But the Mixtape is fantastic, this was a really good year for music singles and I thoroughly enjoyed making the Mixtape you’ll see at the bottom of this page.

Brief History of the Year 1992 in Music

  • Nirvana's "Nevermind" gets to #1 in the US and is partly responsible for the huge surge of interest in the Grunge genre. Lead singer Kurt Cobain and lead singer of Hole, Courney Love, get married.
  • "November Rain" by Guns n Roses becomes the longest running song to enter the Top 20 in the US charts, and also is the most expensive music video ever (at the time).
  • Irish alternative singer Sinead O'Connor controversially rips up a picture of The Pope on "Saturday Night Live".
  • Weezer form, becoming one of the biggest alternative rock bands of the past 20 years.
  • A tribute concert to the late lead singer of Queen, Freddy Mercury, is held at Wembley Arena, England.
  • Influential lead guitarist John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers leaves the band. He returned six years later.
My Top 5 Albums of 1992

#5 – “Kerplunk” by Green Day
Released: 17/1/92
Rating: ***1/4 stars
Stand-out tracks: “Welcome to Paradise”, “2000 Light Years Away”, “My Generation”
 
Albums were not that good in 1992 in my opinion; very little came out was that great. This is the first album to get a ***1/4 star rating and make the Top 5 of a list so far in my Yearly Music Review, and this emphasises on that point. “Kerplunk” isn’t a great album. It’s not a bad album either, Green Day on a bad day are a listenable modern punk band, especially their older stuff. This album is full of that type of material, passable modern punk licks. There’s very little else to say about it. Even if I were to do a full album review on this it’d be a struggle because in honesty, it’s just mediocre. “Welcome to Paradise”, even in its early stages though, sounds quite good and is definitely the best song on the album. If you like Green Day’s basic sound you’ll like this, otherwise, avoid it because there was definitely more to come from this band in the future.

#4 – “La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1” by White Zombie
Released: 17/3/92
Rating: ***1/2 stars
Stand-out tracks: “Black Sunshine", “Thunder Kiss ‘65”, “Welcome to Planet Motherfucker/Psychoholic Slag”
 
White Zombie finally found some commercial success with this effort, their third of four albums, but for me it still lacks a lot of quality, quality that was found in abundance on their final effort, and even more so, when Rob Zombie embarked on a solo career. The two singles, “Black Sunshine” and “Thunder Kiss ‘65”, their debut singles oddly enough despite them releasing two albums prior, are by far the best things on this album, and everything else pales in comparison. I’m surprised by a lot of the experimenting they did on this album; there’s a certain psychedelic force turning the cogs of the machine, and a mixture of heavy metal and early glimpses of the inevitable industrial metal route that would force Rob Zombie into a more successful time of his career. Overall “La Sexorcisto” is a decent effort, one I’d recommend you get if you like Rob and White Zombie, but otherwise there’s not a great deal to find here other than the two great singles that were released off it. 

#3 – “Automatic for the People” by R.E.M.
Released: 7/10/92
Rating: **** stars
Stand-out tracks: “Everybody Hurts”, “Man on the Moon”, “Nightswimming”
 
I once read somewhere that “Automatic for the People” is the album of choice for many different people to attempt to get into R.E.M. That’s not a negative at all by the way, that’s a major positive. The reviewer said that this isn’t R.E.M.’s best effort (although personally, I think it’s my favourite) but it will appeal to the broadest audience. The reviewer is spot on. “Automatic for the People” had six singles off it released, and some may argue that’s too many, but in honesty, every one of those singles are different, and appeal to a different branch of R.E.M.’s audience. There’s a lot of diversity in this album but what it does best is bring all that’s good about R.E.M. into one record, the slow songs, happy songs, sad songs, the songs with a slightly harder edge than most. “Automatic” has everything, and I couldn’t recommend this album enough.

#2 – “Honey’s Dead” by The Jesus and Mary Chain
Released: 23/3/92
Rating: **** stars
Stand-out tracks: “Reverence”, “Teenage Lust”, “Sugar Ray”
 
The Jesus and Mary Chain are an awesome band. They were one of my mum’s favourite bands and at one point or another I’ve heard all their albums. Three albums come to mind when I think of their best work, their first two albums and this one. Honey’s Dead is just a great album, and in terms of both of the Reid brothers relaying song after song together, it’s arguably their finest work. Jim and William Reid are both very good singers and Jim is the main singer in the band, but William Reid sung a lot of the songs on this album and for that there’s certain freshness to the album. That being said, nothing tops Jim Reid’s “Reverence”, the main single and Top 10 hit in the UK, which is a phenomenal track containing the lyrics “I wanna die just like Jesus Christ/I wanna die just like JFK”. “Honey’s Dead” is an album you have to listen to if you want to listen to the finest in the pre-Brit pop alternative rock days.

#1 – “Rage Against the Machine” by Rage Against the Machine
Released: 10/11/92
Rating: ****1/2 stars
Stand-out tracks: “Know Your Enemy”, “Killing in the Name”, “Wake Up”
 
Choosing three stand-out tracks on this album is a very hard task because every single one of these 10 tracks is magnificent. Every song has a purpose, every song has it’s own distinct sound, and somehow, every song is balanced from start to finish in quality. Even the iconic, classic rebel anthem “Killing in the Name”, one of the biggest, most important and best metal anthems of all time, on this album doesn’t sound out of place. That track, and I’ll go into more about it later, is grand in every way but it’s amazing to say it but, it doesn’t sound that grand on this album, purely because all of the songs that are on this album don’t sound inferior.

It’s probably the best Rage album but they’re all good albums. The debut though, is an album you must listen to, if you like metal. This album is a classic; it’s one of the biggest and most important albums of all time, regardless of genre of music. It’s a must listen.

My Top 5 Music Videos of 1992

#5 – “Feed My Frankenstein” by Alice Cooper
 
1992 wasn’t a great year for music videos in honesty. I struggled for videos that I like, and this one is one that I like. It helps when you have an awesome twosome in Wayne and Garth from Waynes World in the video, naturally, as this song was a feature in Wayne’s World 2. The video is no big deal, just your typical live Alice Cooper stage performance with Wayne and Garth. That being said, Alice Cooper’s live stage performances are pretty fricking cool, so if you haven’t seen one, it’s well worth checking this video out. Man, I’d love to see Alice Cooper live, even now.

#4 – “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot
 
This video may not be classy, but man, it’s important. I love this song, and this video gets the message across. I find the video quite funny in honesty. But why is it in this list? Well, for both good and bad, it’s probably one of the most important music videos in history.

How can I say that? Well simply, if it wasn’t for this video, we wouldn’t have music videos the way they are now. This song put everything on the table, and said, “I love big black bums!” Sir Mix-a-Lot said something that had been said many times in music history before, but never this bluntly, never in a music video that showed close ups of black women’s behinds. And since then, well, look at any pop or RnB music channel, and you’ll see lots of videos have a lot of ass in them. This song is a big part in making things the way they are today. As I said, it’s for good and for bad; there’s far too many raunchy videos on pre-watershed TV at the moment, and you can blame the rise in promiscuous videos for that. But at the same time, it broke new ground for music videos, and that’s pretty cool.

#3 – “Smells Like Nirvana” by Weird Al Yankovic
 
What needs to be said about this video? If you’ve seen it, you’ll know what makes it a combine of greatness and tragedy at the same time. Weird Al basically parodies the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video by Nirvana in a way only he can. Cheerleaders with hairy armpits, the janitor (who is the same janitor from the original  video) eating from his mop bucket, the hair flailing all over the place like the Nirvana band members do in the original, and much more. It’s just a great parody, and it’s not to be taken seriously. Kurt Cobain himself loved this parody and its video, so if you don’t like it then that’s your loss!

#2 – “Stay” by Shakespears Sister
 
I don’t know what you’ll think of this entry. In 2012 it’s an odd choice of video to put in this list. But, I vividly remember this video when I was a three, four, five year old boy. It gave me goosebumps. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the video, especially when the song kicked in and Marcella Detroit comes in looking all gothic and evil. Even now, it gives me goosebumps, even if the video is a little silly by todays standards. But that’s what childhood does to you, and for that reason, it’s still one of my favourite music videos from 1992.

#1 – “In Bloom” by Nirvana
 
Videos weren’t that great in 1992 either but this was brilliant. I love the video for “In Bloom”. 1991 was the year of Nirvana’s rocket to superstardom and by November 1992 (when this single was released) Kurt Cobain was really fed up of how serious people were taking the band. The idea behind “In Bloom” was to show that the band aren’t serious and can have a laugh as well. So they mocked a lot of the hype and hysteria that was around in the 1960s rock ‘n’ roll scene, so they all wore suits, played in black and white and played their instruments like they did in the sixties. The crowd was full of screaming women, also like the hype in the sixties. Towards the end of the video Nirvana trash the set, in a way that they would on their actual live sets. The video isn’t that amazing on the grand scheme of things, but it’s still a very well produced video, it was very funny and I love the irony of them mocking the hysteria of the 1960s when they caused a similar outbreak themselves, thirty years later

The Top 10 Most Impactful Songs of 1992

As I said, I'm NOT calling it the 'important' list, although it's more than just popularity as well. Anyway, here are the 10 songs of the year. It's an unbiased list.

#10 – “Let’s Get Rocked” by Def Leppard 
It’s weird going back in history sometimes. You associate certain songs with certain eras and Def Leppard, being a hair metal band, I’d associated this song with the eighties, remember I was only three when this song came out so I didn’t remember it in ’92. So yeah, not only did this song come out in the early nineties, but it got to a fantastic #2 in the UK charts, and is arguably Def Leppard’s biggest hit in their career. They did have another song that got to #2 but this is the daddy, this is the song that most people will think of when they think of Def Leppard. And it was released in 1992, not 1985.

#9 – “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica 
There aren’t an incredible amount of ‘metal ballads’ that stand the test of time. This is one of the ones that did. It was huge at the time, getting to #6 in the UK charts, their third highest charting in this country (“Enter Sandman” and “Until it Sleeps” got to #5). A song about guitarist James Hetfield’s love for his girlfriend, he wrote the basis of it whilst he was on the phone to her. It’s since become one of Metallica’s most well known songs, especially on the softer side of their iconic heavy metal sound. But the song blew up in popularity even more seven years later, when a live version was released as a single, this performance being done with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra, a beautifully crafted arrangement that contrasted with Metallica’s generic sound, but with this being an exceptional metal ballad, the contrasts meshed perfectly. It’s a phenomenal song.

#8 – “Easy” by Faith No More 
Speaking of “metal ballads”, this song is another one that hasn’t gone away and won’t go away anytime soon. “Easy” is actually a cover version of the original by Lionel Ritchie’s band the Commodores, and the song deals with a breakup with someone and the best way to deal with it is by getting over it, “easy like Sunday morning”. The Faith No More version was a surprise hit, and is their biggest hit in the UK getting to #3, even higher in the charts than the original released in the seventies. Faith No More were not known for their ballads and slow songs, more for their alternative metal, but this is their biggest hit and most well known track.

#7 – “Jump Around” by House of Pain 
Long before DJ Lethal began turning tables for Limp Bizkit, he was turning tables for House of Pain. “Jump Around” was and is by far, their most popular hit. Getting to #8 in the UK chart, it’s a hip hop classic in many ways. I don’t often include hip-hop in these listings but this song is completely justified in its inclusion onto this list as it’s such an awesome song, it’s a classic and deserves a mention as not only one of the biggest songs of 1992, but one of the biggest tracks of the nineties, especially in hip-hop. What’s weird? They’re Irish. Irish hip-hop? I find that weird for some reason.

#6 – “Come As You Are” by Nirvana 
I cap these lists for one song per artist. If I didn’t, you would have found all three Nirvana releases in this top 10 because quite simply, 1992 was the year of Nirvana. But if I had to choose one song between “Come As You Are”, “Lithium” and “In Bloom” for its importance, its longevity and its impact on music, “Come As You Are” wins by a tip of a nose. It was the biggest hit of the three, getting to #9 in the UK charts (only “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Heart-Shaped Box” charted higher), it’s probably played the most of the three since 1992, and most importantly, there’s a horrible and twisted irony in the lyrics “and I swear that I don’t have a gun” was a potential precursor for Cobain’s suicide. There’s no proof of this of course, but the link between these lyrics and what happened 2 years later will always be made. Either way, onto positive things, this song is an alternative classic and will be forever known as one of Nirvana’s finest music singles.

#5 – “Friday I’m in Love” by The Cure 
Continuing the theme of songs released in the nineties that I was sure that were released in the eighties, this song is one of The Cure’s biggest and finest moments, yet it was released in 1992. The Cure’s legacy speaks for itself, and most of it was written in the eighties, yet their early nineties stuff is also really good, really popular and will be remembered for a long time. “Friday, I’m in Love” got to #6 in the UK charts (only “Lullaby”, released three years prior charted higher getting to #5) and is known to be one of their most upbeat tracks. Not that this was supposed to be the case, Robert Smith messed about with vari-speed on the tape before the recording. They sometimes play the song live in its original intention, but it’s safe to say that the messing about with the taping probably caused the song’s fortunes to thrive. The fact that it’s so upbeat in comparison to other tracks is welcome by most fans as it makes the song stand out in their discography. Either way this is an awesome Cure song, one that’ll never go away and also be played mostly on Fridays. No idea why.

#4 – “November Rain” by Guns ‘n’ Roses 
I somehow missed this song when I started research for this article, I don’t know how! This song is just epic in every way possible. It got to #4 on the UK charts, and it’s the longest song to reach the Top 10 in America (it clocks in at 8 minutes 57 seconds). The video is also incredibly influential and a classic (it’s not in my Top 5 because I don’t like this song or the video, but hell, I respect it). There’s a few Guns ‘n’ Roses songs that are highly influential, classic, and will never go away, this is one of them. I can’t say it’s THE GnR song, but it’s definitely up there. It’s just a song that will never go away. Ever.

#3 – “One” by U2 
“One” is one of the most covered songs of all time. It’s also considered one of the most important songs of all time, and considered one of the best written songs of all time. I’ve put the Top 2 ahead of this simply, because it actually, for all the accolades and reception, it doesn’t often get played for whatever reason. It got to #7 in the UK charts and was written when the band were close to breaking up. It’s just a song that will always be around, and played on occasion, due to many people associating with it when they fall out with people they love. It’s a very important song.

#2 – “Killing in the Name” by Rage Against the Machine 
I was really close to putting this at #1. The Top 3 in this list can all claim a justified stake for most impactful song of 1992 for different reasons? This one? One word – rebellion.

All the proof you need is in the fact that this song was a #1 hit… in 2009. I’m sure you know already but if you don’t, this song got to #1 in 2009 because of the impact that X-Factor has in the UK. Every year X-Factor was on TV, and the winner would be up for the running for the Christmas #1 spot. And every year for four years in a row, the X-Factor winner got the Christmas #1 spot. So many people were against this commercialised TV show ruining Christmas #1s every year and decided to take action. Facebook was used to gather support to get a song to outsell the X-Factor winner. The song? “Killing in the Name”. And it worked, it got to #1, it outsold the X-Factor winner and the band put all the moneys gained towards the movement to a free live gig in the UK, and to charity.

It was an amazing achievement, and this song is about saying “fuck you” to anything political or commercial that’s considered ‘too much’. And even though this song got to #25 in 1992, it’s been this way for a long time, twenty years in fact. It wasn’t just in 2009; it’s been this way since the song has been released. The song is legendary; the song has made such an impact on society, on music, like Rage have as a band. 2009’s Facebook campaign just solidified its place in music history, that’s all.

#1 – “Creep” by Radiohead 
As I said, I was close to putting #2 in the #1 spot but I couldn’t. This song in my opinion, made a bigger impact, and means more to more people than “Killing in the Name” does. It’s a dispute, a nice dispute, about what song is more important, made a bigger impact, and will be remembered more for years to come. If I were a betting man, “Creep” would be the song, if I had to choose one.

“Creep” is a bittersweet song for Radiohead. The song means so much to so many young teenagers and, still is, their most popular outright song, despite making critically acclaimed albums and solid singles. While the song didn’t sell well in the UK when first released (it only got to #78), it started to gain momentum across Eastern Europe, New Zealand, Spain and Scandinavia. It then got released in the States and was successful there too. It eventually got re-released in the UK because of how well it did in other countries afterwards, and got to #7.

The song is incredibly popular, and has been since 1993, when it got re-released. But… it got too popular. Fans started to appear at gigs only to hear this song, when it was a song that Thom Yorke didn’t think too much about, especially after making in their eyes, better songs since its release, songs from “The Bends” and then “OK Computer”. Eventually they refused to play the song, and it was not played between 1998 and 2001. Now the song is played, reluctantly, in some of the gigs on their tours.

But… despite all of that, and the feelings of the song by Thom Yorke and co, this song simply is an incredible message, an incredible song. The lyrics are simply by Thom’s later standards, but it’s the simplicity of the message that makes so many fans relate to it. “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here, I don’t belong here”. It’s simple, it’s a feeling many teenagers have, when they’re trying to find themselves, try to understand the world around them and their place in it, and how many mixed emotions that run through life, especially in adolescence.

So, Thom shouldn’t be annoyed that this song is requested so often, Radiohead shouldn’t be frustrated when it’s the song that they’re most remembered for. Sure, Radiohead have made much better quality songs, musically and lyrically, and no, they’re not as fondly remembered for them by a lot of fans. But it’s sometimes the simple messages that carry the furthest. And “Creep” is proof of this. This song will always be around, for the new sets of teenagers questioning their roles in this weird game called life. And we have Radiohead to thank for that.

The Year 1992 Mixtape

Just in case you didn't know by now...

"A Mixtape is a playlist of a certain genre, band or era. The list is generally 80 minutes long, the same length of a blank CD, with further recommendations if some of the songs aren’t to your taste. Remember kids, downloading is wrong!"

So here we go! My favourite songs from the year 1992. Yes, this is a biased list.

  1. Man on the Moon - R.E.M.
  2. Dreams - The Cranberries
  3. Friday I'm in Love - The Cure
  4. Breaking the Girl - Red Hot Chili Peppers
  5. Creep – Radiohead
  6. Jump Around - House of Pain
  7. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-a-Lot
  8. Detachable Penis - King Missile
  9. Where's Me Jumper? - Sultans of Ping
  10. Reverence - The Jesus and Mary Chain
  11. Unsung – Helmet
  12. Them Bones - Alice in Chains
  13. Lithium – Nirvana
  14. Pretend We're Dead - L7
  15. Feed My Frankenstein - Alice Cooper
  16. Sad But True – Metallica
  17. Midlife Crisis - Faith No More
  18. Symphony of Destruction – Megadeth
  19. Killing in the Name - Rage Against the Machine
And here are the five alternative songs if you don't like some of the above...

  1. Stay - Shakespears Sister
  2. Bruise Violet - Babes in Toyland
  3. Mrs Robinson - The Lemonheads
  4. Smells Like Nirvana - Weird Al Yankovic 
  5. Everything About You - Ugly Kid Joe
And there we go! The year 1992 in review! Next month naturally I’ll be covering 1991 and continue my descend into music history. What we your favourite songs and albums from 1992? Any other comments or queries? Raise them below. Thanks for your time.

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Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Game Review: Super Meat Boy

If you don’t lose your head over the difficulty, Super Meat Boy is an awesome homage to retro 2D platformers.
Super Meat Boy was released sixteen months ago on the Xbox 360 Live Arcade and was produced by Team Meat. It’s also seen releases on the PC, the Mac and on Linux since. It’s a 2D platform game and pays homage to the old school genre in general, particularly Super Mario.

Super Meat Boy is the sequel to an online Flash game called Meat Boy. Meat Boy was released on cult gaming and humour website Newgrounds three and a half years ago. Newgrounds is a website where many animated videos and flash games are posted. Meat Boy was a huge success on there and had over 8 million hits on all internet media. It was then decided that the success of Meat Boy could possibly be found on console gaming, so for the next two years hard negotiating, contracts and production were made to release Super Meat Boy. Team Meat contact all three major console gaming companies. Sony were not interested, and Microsoft showed a little interest. The most interest came from Nintendo. Microsoft made a large surge in the end for interest in the game, and a nice contract was made for the release on the Xbox 360 Arcade. Due to contractual obligations, it was to be released on the Xbox 360 first and lots of blood, sweat and tears went into the game, as well as a lack of sleeping hours to get it released on time. So much effort went into the game in the end that the game ended up being too big for Nintendo’s WiiWare, so they had to pull out, as Nintendo were not interested in a physical release for the game. So it ended up out of the three consoles, to be Xbox exclusive, and has since met major critical and commercial acclaim. I’m sure Sony regret their lack of interest now.
This is not going to end well...
Super Meat Boy follows a very simple story line. You play as Meat Boy, a red square with pixels for eyes and a very animate mouth, and small limbs. His girlfriend, Bandage Girl has been kidnapped by the main antagonist, Dr. Fetus. It’s such a simple storyline and the creators are emphatic on this, due to it being a strong homage of the simple storylines in the late eighties video gaming, particularly Super Mario. There’s no extended plot really, you as Meat Boy follow Dr. Fetus through over 300 levels to try and save the girlfriend, Bandage Girl. No further plot is needed either.

The game itself as mentioned earlier is a 2D platform game. To finish one of the 300+ levels, you start off at the far left of the level and have to make it to the end of the level, where Bandage Girl is waiting. You control Meat Boy and run and jump your way through obstacles to reach her, only for Dr. Fetus to take Bandage Girl to the next level. The game is split into 20 levels for the most part, “chapters” as they call them, where at the end you’ll have a Boss level where you have to once again either find Bandage Girl at the end of the level, or more often than not, run away from the boss themselves. Minor story continuation is usually shown between each “chapter” you visit.

Meat Boy himself is a square piece of meat. It sounds quite disgusting, and it is in theory, but the fact that the game is in 2D means nothing is really shown, the game is for the most part probably a 12+; the game itself shows very little that’s graphic or unsuitable for children but there are small references here and there that aren’t suitable. For instance Dr. Fetus quite often likes to stick his middle fingers up at the screen or Meat Boy, but those subtle things aside it would probably class as suitable for children in honesty. Due to the fact that Meat Boy is a piece of meat, whenever he runs, small trails of blood follow him everywhere he goes, once again it sounds quite horrible but it’s all pixelated and is fine once you get over the initial observation. Whenever he runs or moves, small squishy sounds follow him, to emphasise the piece of meat that he is as well. This paragraph is here to tell you that yes, these things are present and if it offends you not to show your children if you have any, that’s understandable, but for the most part it’s absolutely fine for children, if they don’t understand these things.

To control Meat Boy, you use the D-pad like always, and that lets you move Meat Boy left or right on the screen. To jump, you press the “A” button, and you can also jump off walls, multiple times, so you can jump from wall to wall to wall if you’re in a short space. You can also run by holding the “X” button while you move. To jump across large spaces you have to hold the “A” button while jumping. It’s very simple really.
The intro to Super Meat Boy is homage to Street Fighter. If you play the game you'll know what I mean.
But what makes the controls so amazing is how tight everything comes together. Have you ever played “Super Mario” back in the day, and the controls were hard to get your head around when first playing? There’s none of that while playing Super Meat Boy. The controls are incredibly tight; when you stop moving, Meat Boy stops moving. If you time everything correctly, you’ll jump, skid, run and drag against the wall (hold the D-pad direction against the wall to drag) as you are supposed to. The controls in essence, are what bring everything in Super Meat Boy together.

Because the controls are so tight, that usually means everything you do on Meat Boy is to your touch. There’s no blaming the game for bugs or the controls being poor. It’s your fault. And that’s quite frustrating in some ways. Why? Because this game is hard. It’s very hard. It’s really really hard! Team Meat worked very hard on making this game fun to play, but also challenging. There are over 300 levels in this game, but completing the first 40 is in some ways a challenge. But this game is a game of trial and error, you’re supposed to die, and die a lot, to be able to beat the level. Dying is only half the fun, because once you beat a level in Meat Boy, especially later on, it’s some achievement. You have unlimited lives, and the levels are short, and this equation makes for a fun yet frustrating game. You have to time things to an absolute tee (as I said, if you don’t, it’s your fault) to beat levels, especially later on

The levels for the most part take around half a minute to complete, but to beat each level it usually can take a lot longer. But don’t let this put you off, as I said, it’s difficult but the fact that you can try again and again instantly means you get a second go straight away. It’s the trial and error part of Super Meat Boy that makes it fun. If you were to flawlessly play Super Meat Boy it would be boring, trust me. Also, you don’t have to play the levels in order. They are however, as mentioned earlier, split into “chapters”, and to unlock the next “chapter” you’ll have to beat the boss in the previous one, and to unlock the boss of that chapter you have to beat a certain amount of levels. But if you get stuck and frustrated on a certain level, you can skip it, temporarily anyway, and come back to it another time.

There’s other ways to play Super Meat Boy. If you complete each level exceptionally quickly, you get an A+ stamping on the level. Doing this means you also unlock the “Dark World” version of the level. The “Dark World” version of the level is an even harder variation of the original level, meaning the difficulty of the level is increased even further! The “Dark World” levels are usually in design the same as the original level, but certain elements are usually added to increase the difficulty; either more obstacles are put in place to avoid, or certain platforms are shorter or not there at all, making the level harder to cross.
The boss battles are exceptionally challenging, but in a fun 'trial and error' way.
There are other characters to play as in Super Meat Boy, but all require unlocking. Most characters are unlocked by collecting plasters. Plasters are found on certain levels, usually in a difficult-to-reach section of the level, and the idea is to collect this plaster on the level and complete the level at the same time. Collecting a certain amount of plasters unlocks characters individually. All the characters bring something to the table; Gish plays almost identically to Meat Boy although he’s slower, but the main thing he can do well is stick to walls with exceptional grip, making him perfect for the levels in the game that are hard in this department. Jill has horns on her head and can stick to ceilings, while Tim can’t run at all but can turn back time three seconds, in case you do a mistake or fail to get a bandage or a key in the level.

Not all characters are unlocked by collecting plasters. Some are unlocked by finding warp zones on selected levels. Warp zones are great; they’re usually the same game but even more retro than the style the game is in. They’re usually thee levels of a much more pixelated version of the game, usually harder to complete and worse yet, you only get three lives rather than the unlimited lives you get in the main games. Beating certain warp zones unlock characters, and some even pit you as the character you’re about to unlock, rather than Meat Boy.

The game’s soundtrack is great. It’s not exceptional in terms of its quality, but it’s not supposed to be, the music is there simply to support the game, not to overshadow it. The music is often atmospheric to the level’s that are being played, and there’s also a lot of retro style music, especially for the warp zones. The sounds are also great, as mentioned, the squelches that are heard when Meat Boy runs or dies are perfect, and the guy who does the emphatic shouting of certain events (like “Super Meat Boy!” and “Warp Zone”, similar to the Street Fighter guy) are great too.

Overall Super Meat Boy is well worth every penny if you like retro games, it does the old 8-bit and 16-bit games of old complete justice. If you don’t lose your head over the difficulty, it’s well worth your time. I’d recommend you try the demo out, which is quite fleshy in itself and if you like that, get the full game. Just remember that the game is made for you to fail before you succeed, which is the way games were made in the eighties anyway. So if you don’t lose your head over the difficulty, Super Meat Boy is an awesome homage to retro 2D platformers and well worth a punt if you like Xbox Live Arcade games.
Rating: ****1/4 stars
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Sunday, 26 February 2012

Live Thoughts: Cardiff vs Liverpool (Carling Cup)


I covered this match live. Here are my unedited thoughts when Liverpool took on Cardiff in the Carling Cup final!

Hey there and welcome! Liverpool are in their first final in five years, it's been too long. I remember that final too well, when we lost 2-1 to AC Milan in the Champions League final. It was horrible. I really don't want to feel that feeling again, especially not today. We just simply have to win. If we lose, it'll be the first time in 21 years since a team outside of the top division won the League Cup. We just have to win. I'm thoroughly looking forward to this, but I just wish I was with my family in North Wales, who are all Liverpool supporters, rather than on my own in my house with my three year old daughter who doesn't understand football quite yet. But still, let's hope we can win and I'll be just as happy!

Here are the teams:

Cardiff: Heaton; McNaughton, Hudson, Turner, Taylor; Cowie, Gunnarsson, Whittingham, Gestede, Mason; Miller. Subs: Marshal, Kiss, Gerrard, Earnshaw, Conway, Naylor, Blake.

We were expecting Miller to play on his own up front but no matter, he's the main threat and he can score if given the chance. Peter Whittingham has been a great Championship player for years and can also be a threat. But this is a still a team we need to beat, no excuses.

Liverpool: Reina, Johnson, Agger, Skrtel, Enrique, Gerrard, Adam, Henderson, Downing, Suarez, Carroll. Subs: Maxi, Kuyt, Spearing, Carragher, Doni, Kelly, Bellamy.

The pundits on Match of the Day were surprised Bellamy didn't start but I'm not. We're not being overcautious, but this is a balanced side. It's 4-4-2 and there's some nice balance here. I like it. Having Bellamy and/or Kuyt would disrupt the balance in that team and I think it's important today to get on that pitch, maintain possession and go forward when we're in full control. This team allows that. Bellamy can come on later if we need an injection of pace in the squad. 

1' - JOHNSON! He hit the bar! So close! Gerrard on the rebound and it's over. What a shot by Glen Johnson! Both teams had a good attack then and we almost scored! 

3' - They just mentioned Johnson being an FA Cup winner when Portsmouth beat Cardiff here a few years ago. I live in Portsmouth and I can tell you, that was a special win for the south coast team. I'm not a Pompey fan but I was really happy for them. I want a taste of that tonight for my team! 

6' - We're piling the pressure on early, two corners didn't really get that close to their goal, but we're on top at the moment. We need to keep on this pressure early on, hopefully it'll lead to an early goal. 

9' - The pressure is off a little at the moment, but there's a long way to go. What matters is that we win, not how! 

12' - Another corner for Liverpool, Carroll is penalised for a push on a Cardiff player. 

15' - Carroll has an effort at goal and it's over the bar. 

17' - A nice bit of movement from Henderson, Johnson and Suarez and Suarez chips the ball to Carroll who has a troubling yet tame effort on target,


18' - GOAL! Joe Mason. We're behind. Martin Skrtel heads the ball back to a Cardiff player, the ball is played to Miller who passes to Mason, who clips the ball past Reina. Awful defending all-round.

21' - That was a poor bit of defending. Credit where it's due Cardiff passed the ball nice and slick for the goal, but our defence was asleep. I can't believe we're behind. 

21' - Agger doing one of his vintage runs down the the centre of the pitch and his shot is blocked by a defender.

22' - Possession is 65%/35% to Liverpool. Yet we're behind. We need to get back in this match, thankfully there's a lot of time to go. 

25' - We're all around their box at the moment, lovely work from Downing who backheels the ball to Jose Enrique into the box. We pile in their box but Cardiff deal with the pressure. 

28' - Downing loses his defender again and crosses low into the box again, it misses everyone, only Carroll was in the box that was in a Red shirt. It was a good ball from Downing, who's definitely winning the battle on the left flank at the moment.

31' - Handball claims in the Cardiff box but it was too quick in my eyes for it to be a penalty.

31' - ADAM! So close! A low drive from Adam and it's just wide. Good effort.

33' - We're still piling forward but with not much intensity. Cardiff are defending well. Hopefully we can equalise before the second half, it's important that we do in honesty. 

36' - They just showed John W. Henry and his wife Linda in the stands. Man Linda is so hot. Lucky man. 

38' - GERRARD! Over the bar! Downing plays well again on the left flank, twisting and turning his defender out and he whips the ball into the box, Suarez, Carroll and Henderson all miss it and it comes to Gerrard outside the box and he shoots high above the bar. Great chance. 

41' - Suarez has been a nuisance a few times in the box today, but he's not controlling well enough to make opportunities to score. Hopefully he can continue though, he's a pain to deal with for defenders. He takes a shot in the end but it's tame and saved by Heaton. 

43' - Free kick, Gerrard takes it and it's inch perfect for AGGER who heads it straight at Heaton. Gutted, that was a great opportunity to equalise then. 

44' - Gerrard gets the ball in the box but can't control it and shoots high. Three defenders were in Gerrard's way. 

45' - One minute of added time. 

45+1' - Half time.

Well what happened? They got a goal, we couldn't score. Not much else to say in that respect. We've had a few chances but nothing clear cut, we haven't been clinical enough in front of goal. It's been the story of the season but if there's one match, one game of football where we need to right that wrong it's TODAY. We need to score. It's as simple as that. We haven't been bad but we haven't been good enough. Cardiff are defending very well. This needs to chance. I really hope we can avoid embarrassment today. Come on Reds! Please! 

48 ' - Miller! Just wide. Cardiff make a nuisance of themselves in and around our box and Milelr takes a chance from outside the box and it's just wide. Not the start we wanted, Cardiff are in our faces at the moment. 

49 ' - Suarez makes a nuisance on himself and intercepts the ball in the box! He shoots across the face of goal and it squirms under Heaton, then Cardiff clear! Unlucky! 

51' - Henderson is the first for a yellow card for a clumsy challenge. He's had a poor game today.

54' - The game is opening up a little, but we're still not really taking the game by the scruff of the neck yet. 

57' - Liverpool Substitution: Craig Bellamy comes on for Jordan Henderson. Says it all really. Henderson has been poor. Bellamy cheered by both sets of supporters due to his strong connection there. 

59' - GOAL! Martin Skrtel! Our eight corner of the match and Suarez gets on the end of it, it hits the post and then Skrtel shoots low into the box! Great finish!

61' - Finally, an equaliser. Hopefully we can now work for a second goal. No mistakes can be afforded now. 

63' - Skrtel's fourth goal of the season. He's had a brilliant season, both defensively and attacking for a defender. He's been a rock for us. Excellent player. Thanks Rafa! 

64' - Mason has a decent effort at goal, but it's met well by Reina. 

66' - The winds are definitely changing at the moment, we're really going for blood at the moment. It's about time, but we need to make sure we're not left open at the back. 

69' - A few more corners for us but with no end product. We're still the better side though. 

71' - Gerrard knocks a forearm into the back of Gunnarsson's head. The ref didn't see it, poor from our captain. I don't think it was intentional but it was dangerous. 

73' - 89,041 is the official crowd total today. Great work from both sets of supporters!


73' - SKRTEL! Great save from Heaton. It was a snap shot at short distance for Skrtel, that Heaton saves low  to. Good effort again!

74' - 21 shots on goal for us, and only 4 on target. Story of our season in a way, lots of effort but no product. But now is not the time to be negative, we need to score again! 

77' - Mark Hudson has gone down with cramp and we kick the ball out. Boos from some of the Reds faithful. Poor reaction from our own, we should respect things like this, if the boot was on the other foot we wouldn't like it if Cardiff continued. 

77' - DOWNING! Great save from Heaton! Downing takes a low driven shot through the Cardiff defence and Heaton just sees it in time to make the save. Great effort from Downing, who's been my man of the match so far for me. Great effort from Downing today. 

79' - Free kick in a dangerous area for Cardiff, Peter Whittingham shoots and it hits our defence and out. 

82' - TURNER! Just wide! Don Cowie whips the ball and it curls round the Reds and Turner heads the ball just wide. That could have been an upset if that went in, thankfully it didn't.

86' - Liverpool Substitution: Daniel Agger leaves the pitch with an injury, and Jamie Carragher takes his place. 

87' - MILLER! Just above the bar! Cardiff free kick and once again our defence is asleep and Cardiff take advantage, Miller shoots hard and high and thankfully it was just over the bar. Come on Reds! Seriously! 

89' - Free kick for Cardiff and Jamie Carragher doesn't give them the ball! I think his message was because we weren't ready to defend the kick.

90' - Four minutes of added time.

90' - Suarez is on his own up front and is onside! Three Cardiff defenders catch up with him and he takes a shot that's well over the bar.

91' - Corner for Liverpool and it's passed to Johnson who sets Gerrard up for a belter outside the box and it's over the bar. Good idea, but its execution wasn't what it should have been. 

94' - Ten seconds remain and Gerrard delivers a long ball to Downing who puts his hands in his face because he failed to control the cross. Full time. 

Thirty minutes of added time to go now. The main thing is we got the equaliser. We still have one substitution left, Cardiff have all three. You have to give it to Cardiff, they've worked their asses off today to get to extra time. But we need to finish this match off. I really don't want it to go to penalties, despite being confident in a shootout situation. I want us to win on goals scored not penalties. Let's hope we can finish them off in these 30 minutes. Come on Liverpool!

90' - Cardiff Substitution: Filip Kiss comes on for Joe Mason.

90' - Bellamy takes a corner and SUAREZ heads it and Andrew Taylor clears it off the line! So close again! 

91' - Gerrard shoots from outside the box again and once again it's well over the bar. He's not been very clinical today our captain. I dare say he's not had the greatest of games in honesty, but we need him on that pitch that's for sure, in games like this.

94' - Free kick, Gerrard takes it and Suarez frees from his marker and volleys just wide. He was offside anyway, but great movement from the Uruguayan. 

97' - That's an odd statistic, Kuyt has the longest Liverpool career without winning a medal since Emlyn Hughes, in six years without a metal. It's true though, since he joined we haven't won any trophies. 

98' - Kiss gets a yellow card after his little tussle with Craig Bellamy.

99' - Cardiff Substitution: Mark Hudson comes off and Anthony Gerrard comes on, whose cousin is our captain Steven.

102' - Downing takes another corner and Carroll heads it backwards towards goal, a good effort. That's his last touch of the match.

102' - Liverpool Substitution: Andy Carroll comes off and Dirk Kuyt comes on. Carroll's had a mixed game, not as good as recent weeks. 

103' - BELLAMY! Just over the bar! A great one-two with Kuyt and he makes some space and curls a right footer just over the bar. Best effort from the Welshman so far. 

105' - One minute of added time. 

105' - JOHNSON! Just wide again. Lovely work from Adam who set up Johnson, his shot was nice and clean but just wide. 

105+1' - Half time.

Nothing much different to report, it's been pretty much all Liverpool with no end product. It feels destined for penalties, the way it feels at the moment. Hopefully that won't be the case, and we can score in the next fifteen minutes. 

Cardiff Substitution: Kevin McNaughton comes off in place for Darcy Blake. Cardiff and Liverpool have now made all their substitutions.

106' - Kuyt loses his defender and is free! He puts the ball square across the penalty box and it's just slightly behind Suarez, who tries to adjust but can't. Great effort from Kuyt, unfortuante of Suarez not to be positioned correctly!

107' - GOAL! KUYT! COME ON KUYT GET IN THERE! Kuyt shoots and a defender clears poorly back to him, and he shoots hard and low to the bottom corner!

110' - We need to be patient and careful now. We can't let this lead slip. 

113' - Haha, sorry, you've got to love OptaJoke on Twitter, check this tweet:


"55 - Dirk Kuyt's first attempt on goal was going 55 metres wide. Rebound."


Follow OptaJoke @OptaJoke, they're really funny.

115' - Cardiff are on top at the moment, trying their best to equalise. We're defending well enough at the moment, but they've just won a corner. 

117' - GOAL! Ben Turner. Three corners in succession for Cardiff, they almost score from the second corner and Kuyt clears it off the line, but that third corner was the same, we couldn't clear and they bumble it into the box. Penalties loom.

120' - One minute of added time. 

120+1' - Full time. Penalties.

Amazing match, Cardiff have been amazing. Penalties now. I can't believe this match. I'll cover the penalties on this site as well. I'm in bits at the moment. Horrible feeling, although as I said I'm comfortable with penalties, Reina is usually very good at penalties.

  • Gerrard to take first. SAVED! Tom Heaton! Amazing save! Gerrard top corner and it was amazingly met by Heaton! Instant pressure for Liverpool! 
  • Kenny Miller to take now. He hit the post and out! YES! 0-0 still! Stalemate still! 
  • Charlie Adam now... WELL OVER THE BAR! WHAT THE HELL!? 
  • Cowie now to take for Cardiff and it's in the goal! 1-0 to Cardiff on penalties. Not good. 
  • Kuyt now for Liverpool, come on Kuyt! Kuyt scores! Thankfully! Now we need Reina to save.
  • Rudy Gestede to take now for Cardiff... and it hits the post! 1-1 now after three attempts each! We're back in it! 
  • Stuart Downing now and he scores! We take the lead in penalties! 
  • Peter Whittingham now for Cardiff... he scores. 2-2 now with one penalty each remaining. 
  • Glen Johnson now to take. Come on Johnson! He scores! Cardiff NEED to score now! 
  • Anthony Gerrard now... and he misses! LIVERPOOL WIN THE CARLING CUP!
We did it! What a match! Emotions were everywhere and I'm so proud that we've won. Great credit to Cardiff who worked as hard as they could to cause the upset. We put in a lot of effort today and it felt like it wasn't going to happen, especially when we missed our first two penalties. But we did it, and hopefully this can now be the catalyst for more trophies. Hopefully we can win the FA Cup later on this season. It's about time we won a trophy. Now we want more! Carling Cup winners. Amazing. Thanks for joining me today and if you're a Liverpool fan, enjoy your celebrations!


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