Game Review: LIMBO

10 days to go...


A phenomenal experience, LIMBO creeps me out more than any game I've played in years.

LIMBO is an independent game released last July, and is currently exclusively available on the XBox Live Arcade, by Danish game developers Playdead Studios, which consisted of 8 official people. As of the writing of this review they have only this game published. It's a puzzle game, but trust me, this isn't your everyday puzzle game.

Doing the bleep test in LIMBO is different than in school, you have two teachers and if you don't beat your old score you get "the stick".

In LIMBO, you play as this little boy, who's name you don't know, who is looking for his sister in a place named LIMBO, which in Catholic terms, is on the edge of Hell. You don't know why he is looking for his sister, but that he is. The game is set in monochromatic black and white tones; there are no other colours in the game. The only things you can do are move, jump, and pull, push, and turn on switches. But that's all you need to do, the game mechanics work a treat with the setup.

Before I move any further, this game is an 18+ game, it truly is, not because it's gory, it's not, but it is graphic. The little unnamed boy, he dies, a lot. In many horrendous ways. It's arguably controversial, little boys don't die often in video games, especially the deaths available in this game. So if that freaks you out, then I'd not recommend you play it. However, if that doesn't bother you, let's move on.

George was the master of the one foot off the box stance in gym, he could even do it with birds pecking at him.

LIMBO is essentially a puzzle game, you must use the few options mentioned above to make your way through the playing field. The landscape changes as the game moves on, from a forest to a native village, to an industrial site. These landscapes are all fantastically detailed despite it being in black and white. Moving through this game is basically doing puzzle after puzzle, and the object of the puzzle is usually surviving the scenario. This can be something as simple as pulling a crate to a high up ledge for leverage, to jumping over large bear traps that will decapitate you. The puzzles get more and more complex, often depending on the critical timing of turning on a switch to using gravity or magnetic force fields. Don't worry about the deaths though; this sombre game is, quite depressingly, about dying. You almost have to die to understand what you have to do, and the game is gracious enough to place you very close to the scenario you tried to progress through. There is an XBox Live achievement for dying less than 5 times in one game, and trust me, that's difficult (I've not done it).

I mentioned the native village before, there are natives in this game, however, for an unexplained reason (nothing is explained in this game) they are out to kill you. They provide the unnamed boy with further difficulty in his quest to find his sister. Apart from the natives, the only other live species in the game are gigantic spiders, that are awfully creepy and lethal, small mind controlling worms, some birds, a wasp and some unnamed hamster-esque creatures. Apart from these it's you and your obstacles. It's a very lonely game but that doesn't mean it lacks for it. This is a game about survival and progression, and your thoughts and decisions will evolve around that.

Man, these spiders are just creepy. I can't even joke.

Speaking of loneliness, to emphasise this, there is no music. Nothing. All you hear in this game is the environment, which typically is usually your movements and what you're moving. As you progress, the natives don't speak, but the animals/creatures have their signature sounds. As you progress you will hear ambience, which further adds to the mood, but still no music. This makes the mood of the game even more prominent.

LIMBO does lack in a few things, but they are subtleties really. There has been criticism about the ending for LIMBO, without spoiling it, it's a very abrupt ending. You will just go, "oh, that's it?" My personal take on the ending, is that despite its abruptness, it's open for interpretation, much like the game itself, and makes you think about what happens. My main beef with LIMBO is that it's quite short, from start to finish it's a few hours long, you might on your first run take about 4 or 5 hours, which isn't too bad for a downloadable game, but once you know what to do in this game it dramatically shortens the game. You can finish this game in two hours, maybe even one, if you know what to do. The game depends on its first playthrough, which is disappointing as it does lack replayability in this instance.

That being said, it's that first playthrough that stands out. It's a fantastic puzzle game, a brilliant open-ended story, and one phenomenal experience. LIMBO creeps me out more than any game I've played in years. It's a truly magnificent piece of art, one I'd recommend anyone open to dark stories to play, or even watch. LIMBO is available for a relatively steep price of 1200 gamerpoints. Don't let the price sway you however; you will be counting every gamerpoint well spent after playing this game. Don't believe me? Download the free demo, you won't be disappointed.

Rating: ****1/4

The Mercy Side: The Royal Rumble and The New Movement

I haven't written much about wrestling recently, and thought I'd do a new piece on it. Another big announcement from me, it's the date the Noughtie project will be begin. It will all kick off on the 26th January. Stay tuned...

13 days to go...

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This year, let's be honest, has been substandard, ever since Wrestlemania last April nothing has really stood out immensely. To be fair to WWE, they have lost a lot of star power either to injury (Triple H, Undertaker) or to retirement (Shawn Michaels) or to contract expiration (Chris Jericho, Batista). That's a lot of star power to lose, it's the equivalent of losing half starting eleven in football. Anyone would suffer with that. For months people thought that WWE would have to depend on a lot of their newer talents, the likes of The Miz, John Morrison, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. For months, The Miz aside, it looked as though either these wrestlers weren't given the right opportunities or that they weren't taking them when given. For months WWE has quite frankly, sucked. The only thing that was given any momentum was The Nexus angle, which has been mixed, and was definitely waning until CM Punk has given the angle a bit of fresh air. Apart from that WWE haven't done a great deal.


But it's suddenly Royal Rumble season and we all know that WWE pay great attention to their product from January to April, The Road to Wrestlemania, basically. All of a sudden, momentum has been made, and things are getting a bit more excited again. The two biggest stories for me, are that of John Morrison, and Dolph Ziggler, on Raw and Smackdown respectively.


John Morrison has always been seen as this guy who has an unusual and inventive moveset, is decent in the ring, yet can't back that on the mic, and can't draw the crowd in much. Good 'ol J.R. hinted a few months ago that JoMo needs more intensity in his work, he needs to make the crowd believe him when he is kicking that guy in the face, he needs to be aggressive. After working with Sheamus, who is quite stiff anyway, it's given JoMo exactly what J.R. thought was lacking. The crowd digged that feud between Sheamus and JoMo, and you have to give it to Sheamus for actually putting JoMo over... three times is it now? Great stuff from the relatively new guy. This gave JoMo a great push from WWE, and put him in the spotlight against his long term rival and friend The Miz for the WWE Title. They put on a better match on the first Raw of 2011 than the majority of matches in the whole of 2010. The fans have been right behind JoMo for this entire push, and it's really paved the way for the guy, I'm hoping this will actually fully elevate him to the main event status, a status I truly believe he belongs in. I've been a good fan of him for a few years, I liked his authentic in ring ability, in the ring he really does remind me of Shawn Michaels (although he doesn't compete unfortunately, HBK is the king). Does this mean that WWE will give him the Royal Rumble win? I'm not sure.


The other guy I mentioned is the awful named Dolph Ziggler, man he needs his name changed. Call him Nick Nemeth, or something, oh wait, WWE won't let him as they can't copyright someone's real name. Anyway, he was always considered an up and coming wrestler with large potential. I monitored him a lot last year, and failed to see how he could become a big star. I didn't likle much about him, especially that damn Sleeper finisher. The Sleeper is a move used to give the face a recovery phase, to let them turn the tables in the match and gain momentum lost earlier. As a finisher it doesn't spark the intense "tap!" chants and excitement as say, the Crossface, the Sharpshooter or the Walls of Jericho does. Anyway, I saw glimpses of what I'd consider greatness, particularly his great matches with JoMo last year, and Rey Mysterio. Either way, the past few months have been ridiculous for him, he's stepped up his game immensely. He really has made the Intercontinental title have a boost in its degraded reputation. He made it mean more significant than any champ since Chris Jericho. He's now passed that onto Kofi Kingston, and is the new #1 contender for the World title, against Edge, who is exactly the type of wrestler who can really make Dolph look better than before. I really hope he does too. Does that mean that he will win the title at the Rumble? I doubt it, but I'dbe happy if he did. He's got more chance of losing, then Vickie making an announcement in the Rumble that Dolph has been drafted in, and he wins that.


Which brings me to the main point of the article, the Rumble itself. The Royal Rumble is a fantastic tool at giving someone an opportunity to win the big one, similar to the Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania. However since Benoit-gate, and Lesnar/Lashley-gate, the latter just in case you're not entirely sure what I'm referring to, is giving young new wrestlers a big push for the title, only for them to leave the company disrespectfully after, WWE are very sceptical for a wrestler who is new to get the spotlight. Even Sheamus, the only talent to get a major push quickly since (does Swagger count?), wasn't given an opportunity to shine at Wrestlemania. They rarely do it unfortunately, as it's risk to their company they believe.


But with The Miz having reached the big one finally, and John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler getting nice big pushes recently, and Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger looking more refreshed in recent weeks than recent months, is this their time? Can one of the latter four win the Rumble? Or is it just going to be used as similar to recent years, to make an already established star get another title shot? Please WWE, give one of these four great up and coming guys a chance, they are all more than capable of being champion.


Remember how great Kofi Kingston looked last year, after his fantastic feud with Randy Orton? How hot was he at Madison Square Garden then? You know, the biggest venue in WWE? Man, that was fantastic. Then they decided to give up on him. No reason really, obviously there were rumours goign around that he botched Randy's planned finish on one of the Raw episodes (Stupid! Stupid!) but nothing concrete. But he now has the Intercontinental title again, I hope they give him a big push again. As for Jack Swagger, well, how bad was his title reign? It was terrible, and it wasn't even his fault. He was just booked so badly. I don't get that at all, they did it with Rey Mysterio too. But recently he is looking okay again, after being part of horrendous comedy segments. I hope they can really make a good case for him again because he's a fantastically gifted wrestler. He has a great physique, he is good on the mic, he is a fantastic mat wrestler. I never got why they decided to treat the guy so badly.


These five guys, as well as Daniel Bryan, Alberto Del Rio and Wade Barrett, are the future of the company. They are all main event material, Bryan, Del Rio and Barrett willare also contenders for the Rumble, or at least will make a mark on Money in the Bank, these eight will be the "new breed" of WWE. The company needs to trust them, and hope to depend on them when the going gets tough, like the way it is at the moment, with so many injuries and big guys going. Also the majority of the major stars are 40+ now, and that's not healthy. The last time so many major stars were so old was the early nineties, '92 I believe. This needs to change, the WWE have had their hand forced to try and change it. The fans have spoken, will the WWE listen? I hope the Rumble will answer the question favourably. We'll see.


Date: 13/1/11

Music Album Review: True Blood: Music from the HBO Series Volume 2

An inspiring soundtrack, one that follows the blueprint for a TV series soundtrack perfectly.

True Blood hit our screens (not literally, although I wouldn’t be surprised too far down the line) in 2008, following Twilight and The Vampire Diaries as the newest breed of vampire themed television series' and movies to pave way. The difference between True Blood and the aforementioned two however is the grimy, sexy and very gory Southern state atmosphere, with the makers deciding not to aim for the young teenager audience but would rather give us a TV series that adults would be more accustomed to. It’s been very successful, not in the vein of Twilight, but it’s received critical and commercial acclaim, so much that it has three series’ under its belt. The thing that stands out most for me about True Blood however, is the music, it has a tremendous soundtrack, one that it’s quite obvious a lot of thought has been put into.

I’ve heard both this soundtrack, and the first series soundtrack. The first series also had some fantastic stuff in the programming, with Jace Everett’s now cult classic “Bad Things” paving the way for country music to be cool again. Also on the programme were songs by Marilyn Manson, The Eagles of Death Metal, and Lynyrd Skynyrd. That’s why when I got the actual CD, I was most disappointed. None of the previously mentioned artists feature, bar Jace Everett, and none of the songs on the CD I can actually remember as part of the great background music heard in the show. I think Gary Calamar, the music supervisor, really missed the ball with the first soundtrack.


However, I got the second series soundtrack roughly the same time as the first, and I’m telling you, there’s a huge difference in the quality of the soundtrack for both series’. Let’s start my review on the second series soundtrack.

The album starts off with "Howlin' for My Baby" by M. Ward (who has worked with Zooey Deschanel in the past), a track full of rock ‘n’ roll nostalgia. That is, until the fantastic riff comes in at the end of the bridge, a riff Jack White would be proud of. It really sets the tone for the album and is actually the album in a nutshell – a mixture of modern alternative metal, country and rock ‘n’ roll.

The second track, “Evil” is a very different sounding Jace Everett working with C.C. Adcock and does possibly one of the most dirty sounding songs of all time. It’s fantastically raunchy, with a mucky baseline behind the chorus of kids saying the title track. It's not the same country artist who's signature song has become a global cult hit.

The third track is a song by the ever-ambiguous Beck, doing one of his most diverse songs, full of electronic guitars and a thudding base. Beck’s voice is scarcely heard through most of the track, with the singer preferring his music to do the singing mostly.

After the three opening tracks, the album takes it down a notch with "Clairvoyant" by Robbie Robertson, a song that Lionel Ritchie would be proud of. This change in genre and sound really shows Gary Calamar's diverse album collection, choosing to continue this trend of new and old music, with track five, a proper jazzy and soul number by Jr. Walker and the All Stars. Track six is the fantastic Screamin’ Jay Hawkins at his best with Frenzy, the sleeper hit from the fifties. So that’s three newer artists followed by three older artists.

The musical trip Gary Calamar wanted us to go on with this soundtrack was never going to be easy or steady. This roller-coaster ride then starts to take another twist in the direction of some alternative country with Lucinda Williams, Buddy and Julie Miller and Chuck Prophet, with the latter also using funk and soul in his music. It’s a tremendous selection of songs, chosen in an order that really makes sense. 13^th Floor Elevators is next with a Rolling Stones inspired song called “You’re Gonna Miss Me”. Eels, being the ever odd band, make an appearance with the gothic sounding “Fresh Blood”.

After these tracks however, we start to really enter the obscure, with a lot of references to the actual series. Track twelve is a tribal dance track quoting from the series (“I know what you are…”, “What are you?”) over and over again to mesmerising Indian music. A very odd track follows called “New World in My View” by a DJ named King Britt, accompanied by Sister Gertrude Morgan. In this song, Gertrude rambles on about Christianity, she talks of an inspiring story how her religion will fit in a modern day world. This is not directly part of the series, but the concept of religion, and more emphatically, the potential corruption of Christianity is evident in the series. The album finishes with a nice step back into normality with Bob Dylan doing a decent track named “Beyond Here Lies Nothin'”. What a rollercoaster eh?

And rollercoaster is definitely the right word for this album. It’s got some fantastic stuff on this CD, and it covers all the bases for what a soundtrack to a TV series should – songs from the programming, songs inspired by the series, songs that have reference to the storyline, everything. However it falls short towards the end, with some of the songs, albeit working for the TV series, just aren’t good enough quality tracks.  But the beginning, definitely the first half, is chock-a-block full of ditty and dirty licks. It’s a vast improvement over the first soundtrack, and if you want to listen to some American bands that you may or may not have heard before, past and present, I’d recommend you get this. It’s an inspiring soundtrack, one that follows the blueprint for a TV series soundtrack perfectly.

Rating: ****

Stand out tracks: Bad Blood by Beck, Evil (is Going On) by Jace Everett and C.C. Adcock, You Did (Bomp Shooby Dooby Bomp) by Chuck Prophet

Q&A with Johnny Mercyside: Part 1

Hey there,

A lazy post today as I'm really ill and can't be bothered writing anything new. This is a new thing I'll be posting, where I talk about me, as a person rather than as a freelance journalist. All these questions were asked from Formspring, and you can view my Formspring profile, with all answered questions on the left side of the site. Here are 20 questions, forming the first part of Q&A time with me. I hope you enjoy.

*Note, some of the answers may have changed, I started the account 7 months ago so where the answer is different, it's because it's outdated.

Q: What was the happiest moment in your life?

A : Probably back in 2003 when my family just left my Dad, it was a great feeling.

Q: When was the last time you received flowers?

A: I don't receive flowers, I give them sometimes to my partner however.

Q: If you could go back in time 10 years and tell your younger self something, what would it be?

A: Things will get better, my life wasn't the best 10 years ago

Q: What's one thing you own that you should probably throw away, but never will?

A: I have a box for nostalgia and I probably will keep most of the stuff in there forever I hope.

Q: If you could ask George W. Bush one question what would it be?

A: I don't really know, does he think Barack is doing a better job than him?

Q: What's the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

A: Oh jeez that's tough, everyone chipping in to get my XBox replacement for my birthday was fantastic.

Q: Would you rather get up early or sleep late?

A: Sleep late, definitely I hate getting up early.

Q: If you could only watch one TV show what would it be?

A: Erm, tough one, probably my weekly wrestling shows.

Q: Who's the coolest person you know?

A: I don't really have a top "cool" friend, there are cool aspects of a lot of people I love.

Q: What do you think is your most attractive feature?

A: I've always thought my personality, I like to be sarcastic, try to be cheerful. If you mean appearance, probably my eyes or my bum.

Q: Are you a morning or night person?

A: I'm a night person, definitely.

Q: If you had to cook dinner for someone tonight, what would you make?

A: I'm not a cook, so I'd probably make pasta bake, I can stick things in the oven, not that it's a great talent.

Q: Star Trek or Star Wars?

A: Neither, I'm not really into sci-fi.

Q: Do you believe in God?

A: No. I believe in evolution, and take a scientific approach to how things have come around. I find it a difficult subject to talk about, due to how many people believe in religion.

Q: What's your favourite genre of music?

A: Good one, I love my industrial metal most consistently, but in terms of how many bands in a genre I like, probably the hard rock bands like the Foo Fighters, Muse and QOTSA. But as a genre, industrial metal.

Q: Do you consider yourself a good dancer?

A: No, I'm pretty awful.

Q: How would you describe yourself in 3 words?

A: Sarcastic, friendly, weird.

Q: If you had to throw away either your TV or your computer, which would you choose?

A: Probably my computer, at least I can play video games on the TV.

Q: What was the last book you read?

A: I just finished this compilation of random Top 10 listings, I got it for my birthday. In terms of proper books before that I finished reading a biography of the life of John Peel.

Q: If you won a million dollars what would you do with it?

A: Difficult, I'd like to do many things, and I'd plan it properly. So not sure where to start with that one.

If you want to ask me questions, you can ask them in the comments section, or on Formspring, which as I said before is on the left side of the website. I'll be posting these rarely though, I'd rather write about games and music than myself. Have a good night.

The Mercy Side: A GameFAQs Rant

A narrowed down version of this is available on the GameFAQs message board here. It's narrowed down because GameFAQs have a character cap, another stupid rule in a box full of stupid rules.


I hate GameFAQs. Not the site, but the way it is run. They have such stupid double standards about everything.


I just requested my two most recent Top 10 lists (Top 10 Levels in Platformers and Top 10 Games on the Game of the Decade List) for my site to be submitted on GameFAQs. They reject them. The reasons? The former because it "lacked content" and the latter was rejected as "everyone's list would be different". It's funny because, the latter list is quite irrelevant now anyway, as GameFAQs never bothered to actually look at it until today, 19 days after posting, 7 days before the tournament finished.  Thanks guys.


What really gets on my nerves about this is that there have been lists FEATURED that have narrowed topic lists (about a certain game or console) AND lists about what certain people think, in their singular biased opinion that is just as irrelevant as mine, what they think the best games of the decade were. I remember seeing a featured article about "the best games that got knocked out in the first round". Yet my list, about the best in the entire 128 games listed, not 64 of the first rejects, didn't get accepted. But this persons list is okay, it's actually more than okay, it gets featured. That's double standards.


Oh, and another thing? You'll see my username on the message boards is "TheManThatYouFe". It's quite funny really, it should actually say "TheManThatYouFear" but GameFAQs never prompted me to maybe change it's oversized name. It just got accepted, and narrowed down. Also, I was a lot younger when I made this account, and since then go by my alias "JohnnyMercyside". If you look, I have done reviews and lists under JM. But wait, I can't change my name on the boards. Why? Because GameFAQs don't care to. Wow, that's really caring for the users of your site eh? So if people on the message boards wanted to see my work, they wouldn't find it. Why? Because GameFAQs can't be bothered to have a function to change board usernames. But they have a function to change usernames on the site?! It's absolutely backwards. So because of GameFAQs' refusal to enable a changing board nickname function, I have two names on the same site. That's consistency.


GameFAQs don't care about the people who make their website so incredibly popular, ie,the users. Haven't you noticed? To make things change, you have to do petitions. What sort of site will only listen to a "petition"? Every idea is rejected unless it's in petition form, and even then, they reject them, unless many many people fight very hard to make their request heard. Everything is "reject reject reject". They have so much power as they're such a popular website and so many people use their material, and why do they have so much power? Because they're an independent website. No one is above them, so you can't complain to anyone apart from them, and all they do is shrug and click the big metaphorical "reject" button.


You probably think I'm really ranting, and probably may even suggest, why don't I not post on GameFAQs? I've been using the site for about 11 years, and despite my disgust about how things are run behind the scenes, I love so many things about it, it's helped me with my video games and provided me with entertainment for a long time. I love POTD. I love Top 10 lists. I love reading the reviews. The content of GameFAQs is top notch, but that's the thing, it's all user generated. It's the people who come on here that make it great, not the people who run it.


So I will continue to use the site, unless GameFAQs block my IP address and/or account for "not staying in line". It's a brilliant website. But the people in charge there, the people with the power, don't care about the users. They don't want to change anything, they don't want to help. Yet they want you to post your good hard work on here, to keep the battery running. It's double standards, it's not the right way around things at all. If you follow the rules, if you stay in line, GameFAQs is a nice place. Yet if you have a problem with something on the site, they don't care. If it wasn't an independent site, if it was business, they wouldn't get away with it. But they are not, so nothing will change.


Nothing will change and I've probably wasted all this time ranting and raving for nothing. But I don't care, as I'm hoping some people actually start agreeing with me, and actually start to realise that YOU are the reason GameFAQs is there. YOU are the reason the site is so good. And YOU should have the power to change things. You SHOULDN'T have to fight for it, it shouldn't be an uphill struggle. Every suggestion, every request for change, should be seen as a positive thing, and politely given time to debate, by both the users of the site and the team behind it. Not petition. Petition is a strong word and it's also a strong form of action, it's a word attached to fighting, to rebelling. People rebel because they want change. Why should we fight when we are all capable of discussing concerns, discussing issues? The problem is only one side is talking. GameFAQs just have this large hand ignoring you. So, will the post on the message board be wiped under the carpet? Probably. But I most certainly hope not, and I hope some people actually agree with me, and I hope we can start to change how things work. GameFAQs needs to stop being "my way or the highway".


Yours, lacking faithfully, JohnnyMercyside, NOT TheManThatYouFe.


Date: 6/1/11

My Top 10 Favourite Levels on Platformer Games

Hey everyone,


I got motivated to write this very quickly, it was just a thought bubble in my head last night that developed over the 24 hours that has gone. Don't worry, the Noughtie series is still very close to my head and probably around 85% ready, but I still have a few more articles I want to write before I do that. I just have so many things I want to do and not enough time to do it in! Anyway...


This is my personal favourite levels from some of the best platformers to grace our television screens. I'm sure you know what a platformer is, but just in case you didn't, a platformer game is a game that generally requires jumping from platform to platform. The most popular platformer is undoubtedly Mario, Nintendo set the seeds over and over again on how to make a perfect platformer. That being said, my favourite platformer of all time is Sonic, and if I were to be completely honest, at least 5 of the Top 10 in this would be from the Sonic series. But I've set a limit to one level per major series, some are just individual games anyway. Without further ado, here's #10...


#10 The Volcano's Base - Wario Land 3 (Game Boy Color)
This level starts off the Top 10 because it's great as it's the first time you can really use the roll function in the game to great effect. Wario has many powerups in the game but the basic roll is very effective too, if done properly as this level requires you to master. At first it's difficult, but you try and try again, and eventually you'll be able to roll and jump your way to many coins and hidden areas. It's also home to the first boss too, although he's quite easy.

Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'.

#9 Magic Carpet Level - World of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck (Megadrive)
There are no names for the levels in this game but the first time you get yourself on the magic carpet in this game is a wonderful feeling. This game is full of imagination as well as great two player action, but this level stands out as my favourite.

#8 Cloud Spires - Spyro: Year of the Dragon (Playstation)
It's hard to pinpoint one level once again on any of the three original Spyro games, they're beautiful levels really, but my best effort is Cloud Spires in the third and best instalment. There's a lot to do in this level despite it being one of the first in the game, there's lots of clouds and angelic elements, it just looks wonderful and is a blast to play in too, with all the gliding opportunities.

#7 Street (Stage 3) - Michael Jackson's Moonwalker (Megadrive)
I don't know why, but this game lacks the popularity it deserves, maybe it was the court cases, maybe it was the fact that gamers didn't like the idea of an MJ game, but it was great. The best level is definitely the Street level, with "Beat It" playing in the background. The third stage in particular, is fun to play, the highlight being the boss battle, when you have to take on a hoard of vicious dogs, with the ringleader white dog, and you can use MJ's special powers to make them all dance with you. Great stuff.

How did this game not get popular?!

#6 Tokyo (Stage 2) - The Revenge of Shinobi (Megadrive)
Maybe I've included too many Megadrive/Genesis games, but I truly believe it gave us the best platformers, this being one of the best. This level is just so much fun, taking on other ninjas, particularly the ones dressed like nuns, testing your mettle. The funky music in the background definitely helps, and the skyscrapers you have the opportunity to walk under or over. This is truly a brilliant level.

He worked very hard to get his 999 shurikens.

#5 Chapter 6 - LIMBO (XBox 360 Arcade)
LIMBO is just one very long level with no pauses, but if you load the game up you can start from certain "chapters". In chapter 6 of the game a moment really stands out for me and I thought it deserved inclusion, despite the game not being out very long. A large spider tries to get the better of you, but you dodge a huge rock and it knocks the spider out. All that remains is his body and one leg. But oh no, he's still alive! His one leg tries to get you one last time, but if you dodge that, he gets it stuck in the ground! Haha! Sucker! But oh dear, you're trapped! There's a platform to your right, but it's too far away and spikes are below. So what does our young hero do? He goes to the spider, now dead or just trapped, he yanks off his ENTIRE leg, spider juices flowing, leaving just the spider's main core, and he rolls this body into the pit of spikes, even more spider juices splatting everywhere, so you can climb on the body and over to the other platform! It's gross stuff, but hey, who said platformers are only for kids?

The spiders in LIMBO are really scary.

#4 Egypt - Quackshot (Megadrive)
Quackshot was a game that required you to travel over the world and getting items from one part can unlock sections of others. That's why when you see a scribbled note saying "1. Sun 2. Moon 3. Star" that you have for ages. You think "Wha?! What is this for?!" Then, when you get to Egypt, it all makes sense. You enter a tomb and all of a sudden the door shuts behind you, and the ceiling is closing down! You panic, and all of a sudden, you see three placards on the floor, appropriately they're the three shapes mentioned on your note! So you quickly step on them in order, and your life is saved. The rest of the level is great too, you have a mining cart ride amongst other things, but the sheer horror of failing to solve this puzzle haunted me for hours. Until I checked that note!

I can't find a screenshot of the level so an angry duck will have to do.

#3 Space Zone (Stage 2) - Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins (Game Boy)
I love this level so much. It's truly a magnificent feeling, going through space as Mario in your little space outfit... avoiding all the evil nasties... and all the horrible walls... getting as many coins as possible... sorry I reminisced too much! It's actually one of the hardest levels in the game, especially the end bit before the boss. The best thing about the level though, is the music, it's definitely my favourite song in the game, and it's exclusively used in this level too.

#2 Un-Bearable - Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back (Playstation)
This is the level that inspired me to write this list. It's just the best Crash level ever. In Crash 1 and Crash 2, to have these levels that start with you going downwards - most levels make you go upwards. These levels tend to be you running away from a large spheric rock, dodging everything along the way. They're great levels. But just over half way through Crash 2, you have a humongous polar bear coming after you! It's a harder level too, with even more obstacles than before. However, that's not the end, oh no. The end, is this super-fast version of the bear! How am I meant to run away from that?! Well, the solution is, you hitch a ride on a baby polar bear cub and run off! It's just so much fun, so much mayhem and it's one of the best levels in gaming history.

Run little polar cub run!!

#1 Hydrocity Zone Act 2 - Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (Megadrive)
Here we are, my favourite level of all time. This level is just flawless. The first act was fun enough, but the second one, full on with a remix of the original song, is just full brim of loop de loops, above water, under water, running ON water, running through gushes of pressurised water. It barely stops. It's just truly a magnificent ride that you barely control, you mainly watch, and it just epitomises what was good about the old Sonic games. You really have to see it to believe it, it's the best platforming level of all time.

Sonic may look scared but trust me, he's having fun.

There you have it, it may be Megadrive/Genesis game happy, but as I said, I really believe the Megadrive had the best platformers. I was going to include the first level from Super Mario Bros, just for how memorable and popular it is, but I wanted to explore other games, besides a Mario game has been featured. Thanks for reading.

Bitesize: #3

Hey everyone,


I hope your Christmas has been good, and that your New Year is full of joy. I had a good Christmas personally, most particularly for my daughter Vivi, who is two, she got lots of presents and lots of love from all three sides of her family. I saw my mum and siblings for the first time in 8 months, and as short as it was, it was very good. It's just a shame I've caught a stomach bug from my sister Tara, and haven't gone back to work as expected. But at least it gives me some time to plan ahead on this site, and in my personal life too. I'll be back at work on Tuesday because this bug just won't die unfortunately.


Enough about my personal life, I rarely talk about it on this site and try to keep it that way. If you've been keeping up to date on this site, I've announced my major project, which is Noughtie, the best in music from 2000-2009. If you want more details on it, check the post below. I'm making slow progress on it, but I should start it in the early part of the new year, that's for sure. I'll get a few more posts done in that time hopefully.


Now about footie. What a shambles last night's match was for Liverpool. The Hodge is getting himself some serious stick at the moment. I'm starting to lose faith as well, I'm quite the optimist usually. If we're going to sack him, I think we should do it NOW, so the new manager gets the transfer kitty in two days time. Otherwise, stick with him until the end of the season, give him the kitty, and see what he does with it. If there's progress second half of the season, keep him for next season, otherwise boot him at the end of the season. My take? Keep him, I like the guy and feel sorry for him. I think he's better than people are believing him to be. I want Hodgson to be a success, I really do. But it's up to the owners really.


Some intriguing news wrestling wise has come around recently. On a personal level for Christmas I got Chris Jericho's Breaking the Code DVD, which is tremendous. I love that guy, my favourite wrestler of all time. We've got The Miz/John Morrison on Raw next week, which, if given time, should be a cracker. They have good chemistry and could pull a 4 star match off if given the chance. It's just a shame that it inevitably means that The Miz retains and John Morrison won't be given the chance at the Royal Rumble. John Canton reckons it will be Jerry "The King" Lawler/The Miz at the Rumble, and if he's right, that's awful. A semi retired, 60+ wrestler given the big paycheck over a guy who is trying his very hardest to reach the top? Poor business. I know the opinion on Morrison is mixed, but I like the guy, yes he is poor on the mic, but his in ring offense is unique and works well. He'll make The Miz look good next week that's for sure.
More news wrestling wise was Cena's injury, it turns out that it's only bruising so it's not too bad. He might not wrestle next week, or be on a light scheduled match (a tag maybe) but should be fine long term. Like him or hate him Cena draws the WWE money. The most out of any of the current wrestlers at the moment. WWE have had a torrid year as it is, with so many key wrestlers leaving, or being injured, or retiring. If Cena was to be injured long term, it's going to get worse. And it's not good for the bloke either, I like the guy as a person, even if his on screen character can piss me off sometimes.
Last bit of wrestling news, is of Awesome Kong rumoured heavily to have signed a contract with WWE. If so, that's the best piece of news in the Divas division in a long time. Kong could be a brilliant signing, she's so big she'd make all the pretty blondy divas terrified. It'd be great television, and you never know, could actually make women's wrestling interesting again. I really don't understand WWE's logic in terms of what they look for in a female wrestler. The apparently logic is that sex draws money, it did in the nineties. But if you've got this PG barrier, and no women are flaunting their "goods", then people aren't interested. Which then leaves the focal point of the show, wrestling. Because they're all models, they barely are capable of wrestling. So where is the logic? They need to get the balance right, they need all of it - divas who can wrestle solidly (Kong, ODB, Hamada) but aren't particularly much to look at, divas who are eye candy (Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, Maria) and a mixture of both (Mickie James, Melina, Natalya). So we have everything covered. The best moulds of the past were Lita and Trish Stratus, they were good looking and could wrestle well. Why can't we have a good divas division again? It's not too hard a logical thought is it? We have an opportunity with the signing of Kong to resurrect the division again, that's for sure.


That's it from me today, once again, I hope you all have a fab New Year, and I hope my stomach settles soon. Take care.