Please note: This list will talk about spoilers. If you have not played the game that each character represents I'd avoid that entry.
#40: Leo
Full Name (to knowledge): Leo Cristophe Game: Final Fantasy VI Role in Game: Antihero Best Quote:"People are people. Not everyone in the Empire is like Kefka." General Leo is one hell of a character. He is one of the most honorable men in FF history and his death is one of the hardest to take in all of the games. Even though his character isn't explored a great deal, whenever he appears on screen, he is respectful and always tries to do what's right. Even though he worked with the Empire, he didn't do it because he was evil, he thought the Empire was trying to do good, he was just fickle. I think they should expand more on his character if they ever do a remake (see my FFVI remake article).
#39: Gilgamesh
Full Name (to knowledge): Gilgamesh Game: Final Fantasy IX Role in Game: Minor Protagonist Best Quote:"My name is Gilgamesh. I'm gonna be famous one day so don't forget it." Arguably an odd choice, Gilgamesh in FF9 doesn't have anything to do with the main plot of the game, but I love the fact that he appears randomly throughout the entire game, through different false names. I've loved Gilgamesh in all the FF games but his role in FF9 is my favourite, I find him comical and finding out his name is a task in itself.
#38: Reno
Full Name (to knowledge): Reno Game: Final Fantasy VII Role in Game: Major Antagonist Best Quote: "We may be retreating, but... we're still victorious." Cool. I think most of the characters in this list are cool but if this was a list of "Coolest FF Characters" then Reno would be in the Top 5. Reno and the rest of the Turks are pretty damn entertaining, and get in your way quite often in FF7, but you don't mind because you love the interraction they provide you with. Reno may be the only representative from The Turks on this list, but Rude deserves at least one mention because he was a pretty awesome character also.
#37: The Nero Brothers
Full Name (to knowledge): Zenero, Benero and Genero Game: Final Fantasy IX Role in Game: Minor Protagonists Best Quote:Benero: "Been a long time!" Zenero: "Been a long time!" Genero: "Been a while!" Possibly the hardest to understand inclusion in this list but furthers my love for FF9. There's only one scene where you actually see Genero in. I just love these guys, primarily the movements they make when they talk to eachother, they provide a good moment of comic relief when they're on screen. It's hard to explain, as they're not big characters at all, but I just love them.
#36: Seifer
Full Name (to knowledge): Seifer Almasy Game: Final Fantasy VIII Role in Game: Major Antagonist/Antihero Best Quote:“This is great... I have a Chicken-wuss and a guy who just reached puberty in my squad...” (Seifer about Zell and Squall, respectively) Seifer is an oddball, parts of his character I really like and other parts I really detest. The latter is mainly that he is your typical chav, your high school bully. But when you strip down his character, and see what he represents and see from a psychological point of view what he does, he really is quite complex. He wants to protect the sorceress, no matter what one it is, he wants to be a knight. His aspirations are twisted but are genuine, and quite admirable actually. He’s a debatable character none of the less and the pros outweigh the cons for him to be put this high in the list.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know your thoughts in the comments box below.
Please note: This list will talk about spoilers. If you have not played the game that each character represents I'd avoid that entry.
#45: Golbez
Full Name (to knowledge):Theodor (changed his name to Golbez) Game: Final Fantasy IV Role in Game: Antihero Best Quote: "Ignorant dotard. Have you any idea with whom you are dealing?" Final Fantasy IV really was beginning of the antihero character that has been semi popular in the series. For three quarters of this game Golbez is the main villain, and he's absolutely terrifying, in a fricking cool way. When Zemus finally lets go of his control on Golbez, all he can do is feel bad for what he put the characters through, and the world. He is expanded in other FF4 related games, but we're speaking about this game on its own, and even on its own, Golbez is a brilliantly created character and deserves his place on this list.
#44: Galuf
Full Name (to knowledge): Galuf Halm Baldesion Game: Final Fantasy V Role in Game: Major Protagonist Best Quote:"Galuf: Whose idea was it to steal that pirate ship, anyway? Bartz: Yours, you old coot!" Galuf's character in Final Fantasy V stands out very well due to two reasons, his sense of humour, and his nobility. In the start of the game he is very funny, and provides some comedy moments particularly due to his amnesia. Later on, he takes on Exdeath and narrowly fails, and dies a noble death. He is the first major death in FF history for me, and they couldn't have chosen a more cooler character to kill off. Galuf's a great character, and deserves a place in this list.
Note: Galuf is the first and only character from Final Fantasy V in this list.
#43: Garland
Full Name (to knowledge): Garland Game: Final Fantasy IX Role in Game: Major Antagonist Best Quote:"To live is to give life meaning, yet one must take others' lives to survive... Terra's souls will sleep until they forget such nonsense." Yes, both Final Fantasy Garlands make my list, with FF9's taking a higher place in the list. Garland in FF9 is an intriguing character because of the fact that he, is actually a villain, but doesn't approve of Kuja's plans. He created Zidane and Kuja to be his "Angels of Death" and cause havok in the game. His many quotes in the game are great and it was hard choosing one, he really does question life and living, and in someways it does make the player think about life in a different way. He deserves a mention in this list and he is a very good villain and is pretty badass as well.
#42: Kain
Full Name (to knowledge): Kain Highwind Game: Final Fantasy IV Role in Game: Antihero Best Quote:"Confident bastard, aren't you?" I'm sure all the FF4 fans out there disagree with Kain's placement in this list. Kain is a complete badass don't get me wrong, but FF4 is a game that I don't consider as high in regard as some of the later games. But Kain is really cool, he's just a great character, playing in between the lines of good and evil throughout the game. You truly understand some of his motives because Cecil "has the girl" and the darkness in his heart makes him an easy target for Zemus to take him under his wing. Also, Kain's image is so memorable, he's in the main logo above, and there's a rendition of this in every port and remake done. Despite this game being so old, Kain is still seen in high regard and more than deserves a mention in this list.
#41: Barret
Full Name (to knowledge): Barret Wallace Game: Final Fantasy VII Role in Game: Major Protagonist Best Quote:"Don't need no appointment... This is a 'mergency! Anyone who don't wanna get their face bashed in better git outta the way!! " Who can't love Barret? Barret swears like a trooper and we love him for it. He may be inspired by Mr T but you know what? I prefer him to Mr T. Barret kicks ass and looks cool too with his gunarm, and even though he doesn't have the biggest brain in the world, he really fucking cares. He wants to make a different to the world of FF7 and uses what he knows best, brute force, to help the cause.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know your thoughts in the comments box below.
I'm doing a countdown of my favourite Final Fantasy characters, and why. This list isn't necassarily the most popular, or most important, it's a list of what I consider my favourites and in what order.
Before I start I thought I'd just explain a few things. Firstly, I'm not including the MMORPGs which in name, are the 11th and 14th games in the series. Not only have I not played these games, but they're both games that are not about characters, more about an expansive world and interaction with people online. If that annoys you then tough titties.
Unfortunately I'm not including 13 either. At the time of writing this I've played through MOST of 13, but my disc 3 has got laser burned, and I can't afford to replace it yet. So while I like certain characters in 13 (namely, Sazh, Vanille and Barthandelus), I don't feel comfortable listing them. So this list is FF1-FF10, and FF12.
Secondly, I wanted to include at least one character from each of the games (obviously not the above three), unfortunately that means there's only one character to represent a select few games, and while I'm not telling you which ones, you can imagine it being the earlier games. There was a lot less character development in these games and very few of them stood out.
Lastly, I want to say that I'll be doing this on a day by day basis. So that means one character per day, so it will take around 50 days to post this. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did compiling it. By all means debate if certain characters should be rated higher, or lower, or off the list completely.
Oh, and certain important characters are not in it. Probably the biggest surprise being Aerith. Why? Because in honesty, I just don't like her enough, she's very important, but I'm not a huge Aerith fan. Now onto #50.
Please note: This list will talk about spoilers. If you have not played the game that each character represents I'd avoid that entry.
#50: Garland
Full Name (to knowledge): Garland Game: Final Fantasy I Role in Game: Major Antagonist Best Quote: "I, Garland, will knock you all down!!" Garland is the first Final Fantasy character with a bit of oomph about him. He also has the first great quote of the series, which is above. He has a fantastic role in the game, quite unique actually, as he is the first boss in the game, and then becomes probably the most important character in the game. He's responsible for the majority of the crap that goes on the game and creates the time loop that will let him live forever. Considering this is the first FF game, his plot is quite deep for a game made in '87. That's why he deserves a spot in my Top 50 list.
Note: Garland is the first and only character from Final Fantasy I in this list.
#49: Doctor Tot
Full Name (to knowledge): Doctor Tot Game: Final Fantasy IX Role in Game: Minor Protagonist Best Quote: "Where should I start...? First, your beard! Second, your nerdy hat! Third, your thick eyeglasses! All signs of a nerdy philosopher!" (Eiko to Tot) Doctor Tot isn't a major character but his presence is truly felt in Final Fantasy IX. He was Garnet's tutor when she was a child, and he helps and gives advice throughout the game. He is warm and gentle, and is pretty much the grandfather of the game. Even though he is a very nerdy guy, he is really cool, and deserves a mention in this list.
#48: Xande
Full Name (to knowledge): Xande Game: Final Fantasy III Role in Game: Major Antagonist Best Quote:"You've come far. But the darkness is three steps ahead of you. You're too late! Perish!!" Xande is probably the only major character of note that really makes an impact in Final Fantasy III (I'm not including the DS remake, the original is what I'm talking about). He steals all the crystals because he fears his own mortality. By draining the crystals of their power, he is immortal again. The premise for this character has been done similarly many times but because he was one of the first he deserves a mention in this list.
Note: Xande is the first and only character from Final Fantasy III in this list.
#47: Cyan
Full Name (to knowledge): Cyan Garamonde Game: Final Fantasy VI Role in Game: Major Protagonist Best Quote:"No. Mr. Thou is THAT one. Over THERE!" (Sabin, to Gao, about Cyan) Cyan is an awesome character. Not only does his Bushido attacks kick ass, but he's a genuinely nice guy. You feel so sorry for him, when he loses his son and wife when Kefka poisons the waters of Doma, but you also respect his courage to fight and gain revenge. His Old-English text is fantastic, and watching Gao and Sabin rip into it is hilarious. It's not hard to see why Cyan deserve to be in this list.
#46: The Emperor
Full Name (to knowledge): Emperor Mateus Game: Final Fantasy II Role in Game: The Main Antagonist Best Quote: "This world can have but one Emperor, and I am he!" The Emperor is the first official main antagonist to make it in the list so far. He is a wickedly evil man, and a very good villain in a weaker Final Fantasy game. He just wants to take over the world, plain and simple, but he does it in a very vicious way, and even takes over Hell. The Emperor has traits in his characteristics and his mission that transcends through the majority of the modern villains now, and deserves a mention in this list.
Note: The Emperor is the first and only character from Final Fantasy II in this list.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know your thoughts in the comments box below.
Before I start this article, I thought I’d announce on my site that I’m currently working on another project, which is listing my Top 50 Final Fantasy Characters. That, fingers crossed, should be starting in a week or so if I can get it finalised and put online, we’ll find out in time. I don’t want to talk about it too much; I’m very excited about this project, and hope any Final Fantasy fans out there will like it too. Now onto the article. Why I Want a Final Fantasy VI Remake Warning: This article WILL contain many spoilers, as the content I wish to discuss in detail will have plot and character information. If you are interested in Final Fantasy VI AND VII are not familiar with it, just be aware there are spoilers and therefore, I recommend you don’t read it. Let’s move on. Final Fantasy VI, or in America , Final Fantasy III, was released roughly in 1994, on the Super Nintendo (SNES). It was the final 2D Final Fantasy game and it was the last on the SNES. It’s currently never been remade; however it has been ported on the Playstation and Game Boy Advance. The game was received remarkably well, citing the best points of a great character set list, a grand soundtrack and a magnificent villain in Kefka. 3 years later, Final Fantasy VII was released on the Playstation, and was not only well received, but is considered the best Final Fantasy of all time. By all means Final Fantasy VII trumped everything Final Fantasy VI did, and is seen as an “inferior brother” of sorts. In 2005, when working on the Playstation 3, a “technical demo” was released for Final Fantasy VII. It showed the introduction of original game, the first FMV, done with the graphics of the Playstation 3. Fans went, to put it nicely, ape shit, and for the past 5 years, and probably going into the future, have done everything in their power to make their thoughts heard on a total remake. Square-Enix have many times in the past 5 years have said that it’s going to be very difficult; all the members who worked on FF7 are on separate projects and like true professionals, they have ruled out a remake until everyone is on board to see a project happen. As a side note, I’d like to praise Square-Enix for their responses, the last thing I personally would like as a huge fan, is a chopped and changed team, or worse, a separate team altogether, working on such a prestigious and wonderful game. However it really bugs me, no one asks for a full Final Fantasy VI remake. Why? Before I explain further, I’d like to say I actually, believe it or not, prefer Final Fantasy VII to VI. But the main difference between these games, the thing that separates the three years between them, is the graphics. Between the years of 1994 and 1997, the world of gaming changed forever. Everyone wanted the next generation console, everything was going 3D. Squaresoft (at the time, they are now Square-Enix) were actually going to release it in 2D on the SNES, but with Chrono Trigger’s imminent release (another absolute classic), and it being a priority, the game got postponed. When work resumed, it was too late, 3D was THE thing, and in order to keep up with the market, Squaresoft would have to make the game 3D. After a few tests on some Final Fantasy VI characters (see FF6 tech demo), they realised that it would be better on a CD Rom. With Nintendo still wanting to use cartridges, Squaresoft had no choice but to move to the Playstation. Taking all this into consideration, you can easily see the differences between FF6 and FF7. There may be 3 years apart in time, but in those 3 years, EVERYTHING changed. You see, Final Fantasy VII does need a remake. Because in 1997 the power of the graphics is nothing in comparison to now, it just looks blotchy and buggy, and, well, inferior. However what people forget, is that it was so close to actually being a 2D game. Can you imagine Final Fantasy VII being 2D? All that made FF7 so memorable was in 3D. Aerith’s death, Sephiroth walking through flames, Cloud on his motorbike. None of these FMV’s would be that great in a 2D game, not to look at anyway. Now think about what COULD be an FMV in Final Fantasy VI, that wasn’t. What about the War of Magi, which was only referenced but never shown? That could be in FMV. Terra apparently destroys 50 soldiers when she was under control by the Empire – you could show her kicking ass. The opera singing scene with Celes, could be blown up in full FMV, it is after all, one of the most iconic scenes in Final Fantasy history. When Terra transforms into a full Esper, which could be done in FMV. How about the poisoning of the waters of Doma? That could be done in FMV. Most importantly, the end of the World of Balance could be done justice to how important it is, in full FMV.
This epic scene could be so amazing in 3D.
Final Fantasy VII in my opinion was before it’s time, but Final Fantasy VI was WAY before it’s time. The story and the events need a complete overhaul. What really annoys me is that some stubborn modern FF fans won’t even contemplate looking at FF6 because of the graphics. They are missing out on a lot, because of this. At least FF7 has been played by millions and millions of fans, now AND in ’97. Only the hardcore fans really have bought the ports of pre FF7 games. Final Fantasy VI is head and shoulders above the previous 5 games, and even in 2D, holds its head above water amongst the modern games. This is why Final Fantasy VI, in my opinion, should be a priory remake over Final Fantasy VII. What I Want in a Final Fantasy VI Remake If there is one job I envy in the world, it’s the people who create video games. I’d love to be a video game designer, but my problem is that I have an imagination, but no contacts, and no physical ability. My imagination is a strong point, but you need more than that to make a video game, you need to be multi talented. But I will give my thoughts to what I personally think a Final Fantasy VI remake should include, or in some cases, should not. The first thing I’d recommend Square-Enix do is to cut some of the characters out of the game, not completely, but out of the main cast. There are 14 main characters in the game, some very important to the plot, some have very little if anything. Final Fantasy VI has the most main characters in a Final Fantasy game ever. They “boast” about this achievement, but I don’t think it’s a boast-worthy feat. The reason why no game since has had this many characters is because it’s too many characters to balance. Since FF6, there usually are two, three or maybe four core characters to the plot, and then maybe around four or five more characters that make a circle around those people. That’s the best way to build an RPG if you ask me, and it’s worked for Square-Enix since then. So what do you have with FF6’s characters? Well there are three major characters, that’s for sure. There’s Terra, Locke and Celes, who all in turns take the player through the game. The great thing about these three characters is the debate that fans make about who actually is the main character. Most would agree it’s Terra, but all three can make a claim. I say further this debate, by emphasising and concentrating on all three characters individually throughout the game. Terra and Locke are primarily playing baton in the World of Balance, and Celes is the clear baton holder in the World of Ruin, however I think that you should mix the three throughout both games. That’s obviously difficult due to the plot on the World of Ruin and that’s fine, however when (or if, of course) Terra and Locke join the party, maybe you could have cut scenes made which switches the game’s baton holder on purpose. I don’t need to make an example of what, it could be trivial, or something else that may add extra layers to the plot. But I think that it should be further emphatic that this is a game with not one, but three main characters and I think further fan debate would add to the game.
This scene is still considered a very memorable moment in FF history.
It can be worked on in a remake. I slightly touched on it before, but in the original you have a choice whether or not to recruit the Scooby Gang for the finale against Kefka. You have to have Celes, Sabin and Edgar with you; everyone else is up for grabs. I say cut this out completely, and force the player to find all the characters. It’s fun and required in the original anyway, so remove the choice and force the extra chapters onto the player, giving you more opportunities to do the above paragraph. Now that the debate is over with regards to the three main characters, I want to talk about the other eleven. I said I want to cut some of them out, so who should be cut out? My answer is to cut out Gao, Mog, Umaro, Gogo and possibly Strago. Why? Well who out of those characters have a huge say in the plot of the game? Possibly Strago, but barely. Gao gives you a diving helmet in the Veldt, Mog and the other moogles help Terra and Locke out in the start of the game. That’s it. These characters, and some I actually quite like, need to be cut out of the main cast, so we can concentrate and prioritise the other characters. I’m not saying get rid of them, just let them be characters in the game, like everyone else. Gao can still give you the diving helmet, hell; you can include the scene where he meets his father, just don’t make it mandatory, and don’t make them into main characters. The same applies with Mog, in fact, I’d think a Mognet would be awesome in this game, and maybe Mog can be a moogle to help you save on the world map, both taken from Final Fantasy IX. It would make Mog useful in another way, and Mognet could add letters similar to the ones in FF9. The others barely have a thing to do in the plot, apart from Strago. Strago is a difficult one, because of his connections with Relm. Relm is a character I’d like cut out of the game if I had my way, however she is far too important to the plot, particularly Shadow’s plot, and don’t ever make me think about getting rid of Shadow! However Strago could be cut out, if we change the plot slightly. If we make Relm “want” to join the party, and Strago not let her, similar to the original, only for Relm to run away, it can work. It’s the other way round in the original, Strago joins the party, and then Relm wants to. Cut the scene out where Strago wants to join, and you can add Relm in, when she runs away, and sketches Ultros’ portrait, showing her worth to the rest of the party. Have Strago reluctantly agree to this, and it works. If we get rid of all the above characters, that leaves us with 9 characters, which is still a lot, but it’s much more manageable than 14. Another use of having less main characters to worry about is one of the major flaws in the original game, which is the balance of the characters. Characters like Locke, Celes and Terra, the main characters, are no where near as useful as players like Sabin, Edgar and Cyan. The latter three have very useful individual techniques that don’t require MP, where as the former three can do minor special techniques and magic. I think they should balance it out a bit, either by expanding the former’s techniques, or make the latter techniques MP based. Speaking of battles, one thing I really want kept in this game is the ATB battle system. Just including the main series, it’s not been used since Final Fantasy IX, which is now 10 years old. I think adding or changing the battle system might make the game less playable, and it would be nice to include the old school ATB system, it’s still my favourite and cannot be beat in my opinion. The one thing I don’t want disappearing is the multiple party’s function that appears in three parts of the game. I think that could work, even in a 3D FF6 game, and would be quite interesting. If it works out, then maybe we could add it in a future FF game, it’s a unique feature that FF6 carries that emphasises its individuality. There’s three characters that I believe deserves an expansion in the game’s plot, and they are Celes, General Leo and Ultros. Celes is accused of being an Empire spy at one point in the game, and leaves the party. I think we should expand on this, by actually having Celes have a dilemma about doing what’s right, and her loyalty to the Empire. When Locke saves her, I think there should be a major hint of reluctance on her part to join him, because despite them torturing her, it’s all she’s known. Make her character more complex this way, because then when Kefka debates if she is an Empire spy, you could raise a further case for her to be one. I think Celes shouldn’t be entirely sure of what side she is on through the entire game up until she stabs Kefka on the Floating Continent and finalises her decision on whose side she’s on. I think it would make a great layer to add to the game. General Leo is probably towards the top of a hypothetical list of underutilised characters in FF history. The great General Leo is a character sworn to do what’s right, he is a very honourable man and never shows any signs of evil. I think his character should be used much more, and have a very similar role to the game that Beatrix has in FF9. I also think General Leo’s death should be in FMV, showing a grave in the sequence at one point, I think his death is one of the most tragic in FF history. You just want to kick Kefka’s ass there and then when he does it. And last but not least, I want Ultros to have more moments, and more to do with FF6. I don’t want him directly involved in the plot, he is purely comic relief in the game and want him remain that way. However I think he should be in the game more than he is, I want him to randomly appear out of nowhere to annoy the player, and he’s just brilliant at it. He is one of my favourite unimportant characters in FF history and deserves more recognition for being one of the best at his role in the series.
Ultros deserves a bigger role in this game - he's too comical and great not to.
I’d just like to quickly talk about Kefka. When I’ve ever thought about a FF6 remake, I’ve always been concerned about Kefka in full 3D. His cackle is so legendary, and his voice would always be difficult to do. He also, as a clown, looks very odd and doesn’t look like a major villain, more of a joke villain. However all these thoughts disappeared when I played Dissidia, I must give Square-Enix credit for their reincarnation of Kefka, and his full 3D and vocal debut, they did an absolute splendid job and made me want to see this game remade even more. I now want to talk about making an impact with the scenes in the game. To do this however, I’d say make the game aimed slightly more towards adults, that’s not to say I want it an 18+ game or anything close, but borderline 15+, on the 12+ side. I want some graphic detail in the game, particularly in three scenes. Firstly, I think that an FMV of Terra transforming to Esper form is required, and I think that they should do a full motion sequence of the event. Make it very “American Werewolf in London ”-esque, just slightly less graphic obviously due to the age rating. I really want people to see the transformation; after all, when Terra does change, she can’t control her actions; similar to a werewolf is incapable. I think taking advantage of modern visual graphics would really make the scene quite shocking, and very scary, because in the original the scene doesn’t live up to how important and striking it really is. The other two scenes in the game I’d like done more maturely have to do with Kefka. The first one is the poisoning of the waters in Doma; I think this could be done in FMV form and make it really bad. I’d compare it to maybe the ending of Blade Trinity, where the Daystar (the vampire poison) kills all the vampires, just slightly less graphic. Really make the player feel sorry for the Doma people, and make it Kefka’s first major crime in the game. I think it would straight away cause great impact, which is what I want more of in this game. The final thing is the most climatic scene in the entire game – Kefka’s Apocalypse. Kefka is the first (and as far as I’m aware, no FF13 spoilers please, only) major villain to achieve Godhood, and he’s the only major villain to completely destroy the main world of a game. This is very important, and also very dramatic. Squaresoft have done the best they could with what little graphics they had in comparison to now, however they can make it even better. I really think that Kefka’s Apocalypse should be a very long FMV, maybe 5 minutes long, really show the player how big a deal it is. Show them the destruction of all the locations that are not in the World of Ruin being destroyed, think of Final Fantasy X where Sin destroys part of Kilika, just much, much worse. Really hit home the idea that this world will never be the same. I also think that when the destruction scenes are finished, turn the screen to pitch darkness for maybe, 20 seconds, just to give the player that horrible urge that it may be game over. I really think this would be one heck of an impact on the person playing the game, especially for the first time. It’s already an iconic moment in Final Fantasy history – but I think in full 3D in modern times, it could be an iconic moment in video game history, seen as possibly more shocking as Aerith’s death in Final Fantasy VII. Square-Enix have an opportunity to do this, and if I were them, I’d grab it with every chance. They could also make Kefka's final battle, all four forms, look even better than it did when it was 2D. In 2D it looked brilliant, but in 3D, it could be even better. Conclusion I want a Final Fantasy VII remake, like a lot of people do. But I want a Final Fantasy VI remake to be prioritised, not because I like the game more, as I said before, I actually don’t. I prefer VII to VI. But at the same time, the three years between these two games were possibly the most important 3 years in video game history. 3D gaming revolutionised the video game history, and that major change in video games made one of these games much more memorable than the other. Final Fantasy VII IS out of date and DOES need a remake. But Final Fantasy VI deserves one before, because it was way before it’s time, and scenes in the game could be much more memorable and effective in a 3D remake. Final Fantasy VII being remade would be nice, but it’s only going to be a crisper version of what it is now. This is a 2D game that deserves a 3D remake. Please Square-Enix, read this article and think about it very carefully. If you don’t, then in the words of Kefka, “I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE you!”
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Hey people, I'm at a local library writing this, I should be back online properly next week. Here's my thoughts on the Northampton match last night. Enjoy.
Catastrophe? No, it’s a disappointment.
So here we are, in September, and it’s the end of the season already. Oh, how I love the optimism in the air at the moment. The press have spoken, papers have took the mickey, fans are annoyed and what for? Because we “crashed” out of the Carling Cup at the first hurdle. But there’s not as many headlines explaining that only 3 of the top 8 teams from last season are still left in the competition and that only Everton were ranked lower than us from those 5 teams. Granted, the team we lost to were 69 places lower than we are, and that it definitely is the worst defeat of all the Carling Cup matches, but I just love the words that are being used. It’s a catastrophe, it’s a disaster. No, it’s a disappointment you fools.
Here’s what we have, “It’s a shambles,” says the Telegraph. The word “Cobblers” is written everywhere. The funniest is on Yahoo, where it says that “ Liverpool 's season reaching crisis point”. If a quick exit from the Carling Cup is the crisis point then that would suggest we will do the treble this season. What annoys me is that this is the least prestigious of the 4 trophies, and only 6% of LFC fans wanted this as the top cup priority. It’s a shame that 6% of Liverpool fans, we were let down.
Now everyone is saying that The Hodge is being close to the sack. All along, despite his clarity, his humbleness, his frank approach to the fact that this club is in a transition period, is all ignored. A paper mentioned that we won the trophy more than anyone else – correct – however we are still in transition. Does anyone in the media know the meaning of the word transition? He said before the match, if we lose, we’ll be slated, and we’ll accept it and move on. And that’s exactly what happened, it’s not a catastrophe, it’s a disappointment. Rafa was so reserved, always keeping his cards to his chest, The Hodge has brought clarity between fan and staff member at Liverpool Football Club.
I honestly don’t think this is Roy ’s fault. Steven Gerrard did a post match interview and he makes the best point, he says “The amount of ability and talent in that squad was good enough to roll Northampton over and I'm sure nine times out of ten it would have, but in cup football sometimes a shock happens and you slip on the banana”. He is absolutely spot on. Roy chose a very talented squad; this is the best batch of youngsters to come through the Reserves and Academy than the nineties I personally think. If this was the FA Cup, and we drew, and we’d play a reply back at Northampton and chose the exact same team, I reckon we would have won. Hodgson was right to put faith in the kids, they will shin, or at least I believe they will. But he didn’t hide his disappointment, his frustration, they let him down. And they did, they are responsible for the loss, not The Hodge. Roy should continue to use the youth sparsely, the same way he has done so far this season. These players need to learn in the cameo appearances that they make.
And they will learn. It’s a minor set back I think in a group of players that should play a lot this season, and play well. Gerrard’s words are absolutely true, I’m really happy he hasn’t slated the team, these players ARE still good players, one match doesn’t make or break a player unless he, the manager, and/or the media let them. Psychology is so important in football, you need to have a good state of mind, not let defeats affect you too hard for too long. I hate him with a passion, but it’s that ego that makes Cristiano Ronaldo a world-class player, he doesn’t let set backs affect him a great deal and in football it’s required. These players need to believe in themselves, believe they can make it sooner rather than later because we can see their individual qualities, they just need to make these qualities affect matches in a great way. A decisive tackle avoiding a goal scoring opportunity, a 25 yard strike hitting the back of the net, a brilliant through ball, something. Then people will believe them.
As I’ve said, this season for me is a transition period, we are with a new manager with a new philosophy, and in the next few months hopefully we will have new owners with new cash available. That to me means that results matter, but it’s not the end of the world. I want us to finish in the top 4 this season, but if we don’t, if we finish in a Europa League spot, then that’s fine, as long as these youngsters have had a dozen or two appearances. They need to blend in the first team and learn their craft. It’s quite funny, because if this season for me represented one of the competitions, I’d actually compare it to the Carling Cup – the time when youngsters are given a chance to shine. Let’s hope that they learn from this lapse and show their mettle on the pitch more this season.
This is a setback; this is a disappointing and frustrating one at that. But it’s not a catastrophe, it’s not a crisis and The Hodge doesn’t deserve to be sacked over this. Have patience, have faith, and let’s concentrate on the long-term plan not the 120-minute match that has just gone passed us.
Better than HD1? I ask myself that question all the time, I rate it that highly.
Hellbilly Deluxe 2 is Zombie’s fourth studio album in his own name, as he was formerly of White Zombie. It is considered the brother to 1998’s hit album “Hellbilly Deluxe”, which also is considered his best effort, it was so well received there is a Deluxe Edition of the album now on sale.
Naming his new album Hellbilly Deluxe 2 was an ambitious move in my books. The reason is because his three other albums, as good as they are, were slowly getting worse. “The Sinister Urge” was a diluted “Hellbilly Deluxe”, and “Educated Horses” went in a very odd tangent, going more for the American Rock and commercial direction rather than keeping his raw industrial rock edge that he was so notorious for. This album also was jigsawed together, most if not all of it was actually finished around 18 months before release, and was delayed due to Zombie’s film priorities.
I felt that naming this album the sequel to his most successful album, after all these factors, the diluted previous album, the prioritising of his film, was a big mistake, it put a sour taste in my mouth when I heard about its imminent release. It just seemed lacklustre and inconsequential, especially as he is still only getting mixed reviews for his film efforts. Was this a big mistake?
The easy answer, no. This album IS Hellbilly Deluxe 2. It deserves to be named after his older brother. Does it follow “Hellbilly Deluxe” or “Educated Horses” in sound? The former, most definitely. This album is raw, it’s grisly, it’s melodramatic, and it’s silly. And that’s the Rob Zombie of old.
“Jesus Frankenstein” starts the album off perfectly, your typical Rob Zombie song, full of fantastic ghoulish lyrics and heavy guitars. The track also sounds likely to be the intro to his gigs as well; it has that type of vibe to it. From "Jesus Frankenstein" we then go to the main single of the album, being "Sick Bubblegum". It’s a decent track, not as crisp and striking as previous singles, but a very solid song. Track 3 is the best song on the album, named “What?”, which was another single, just sounds like The Munsters theme song twisted into a Rob Zombie machine. The track is just fantastically catchy, and Zombie’s vocals make the song, he just churns out the lyrics with his gruff and unique way, it’s just brilliant. “Mars Needs Women” is next, and this song is just great, the drums just sound like a stampede, and the main chorus being “Mars Needs Women, Angry Red Women”, it just makes you think that these huge red women are going to dominate the universe.
After that? Well that’s probably the main flaw in this album. The rest of the album is good; don’t get me wrong, but the epic beginning of the album just makes the rest of the album weak, and dilutes the experience. There are some very good songs, like “Burn”, which was a downloadable track on “Rock Band” the video game, and “Werewolf Women of the SS”, named after Zombie’s fake trailer in the great double feature film “Grindhouse”, which puts the very bizarre plot of female werewolves in control in Germany, and there’s nothing you can do about it (see the video below for the fake trailer).
The album finishes with “The Man Who Laughs”, a near 10 minute song complete with drum interlude. I’m bringing this song to your attention not because the song itself is great, but because of Tommy Clufetos, drummer of Ozzy Osbourne and Alice Cooper, and his fantastic drumming ability. It’s an unusual Zombie inclusion and ending because I don’t think Zombie has done anything like this track before, and it’s an intriguing listen.
To wrap it up, I said earlier, “Hellbilly Deluxe" was considered his best album. Is this better? I ask myself that question all the time, I rate it that highly. It’s most certainly his second best album if not his best, the problem really is that almost perfect beginning, followed by the inferior second half of the album. It’s still a brilliant effort, I just wish he didn’t delay it for his film. Rob Zombie in my eyes always will be a great music artist first, and an overambitious film artist second. If you have heard his previous stuff, and were not sure whether or not to get this, please get it. You will not be disappointed.
Rating: ****1/2 Stand out tracks: What?, Mars Needs Women, Burn
Here is the fake trailer Rob Zombie did for the double feature film "Grindhouse":
It’s funny, it’s trashy, it’s grimy, and it’s brilliant.
The House of the Dead: Overkill (in future I’ll just say Overkill) is one of a group of video games brought out by Sega in recent years to go in the direction of adult video games, other games including Madworld, Bayonetta, Condemned amongst others. Sega as a video game publisher has proved in the past that it’s not just about Sonic the Hedgehog, but can actually publish heavy themed video games and entertain the adults as well. But this isn’t the first in the series; in fact it’s a prequel of four House of the Dead games that came out between 1996 and 2005, with only the first two coming out on Sega consoles, being the Saturn and Dreamcast respectively. The latter two were only available in the Arcades, with Sega going bust console-wise. So The House of the Dead series has a relatively decent cult following with the Sega and Arcade fans, popular enough for two films to be made (they’re supposedly bad, I’d avoid).
For years things were quiet, and it never looked like another HOTD game would be made, so Sega decided to port the second and third games to see how interested the Nintendo fan base would take to the games on the Wii, with its Wiimote function a rail shooter would be ideal for its console. The reception was decent, and pressure was made by fans for a new HOTD game to be made. This is where Overkill comes in.
Overkill is set 7 years before the first game, where it seems the origins of the zombie (sorry, mutants) outbreak seems to stem. Agent G, who is a regular character in the game series, is a young rookie agent on his first assignment. After a tussle with Detective Washington, who is basically playing the typical foul mouthed black cop role, they agree to work together to find Papa Cesar, one of two main antagonists of the game, who is responsible for the outbreak. Along the way they also meet Varla Guns, an ex-stripper with a quick wit who also has her personal vendetta against Cesar. There is the second antagonist that I will not name for spoiler reasons, who is the best character in the game, and is a complete nut job, and is one of the most controversial characters in recent video games.
I’ve said the above paragraph in a very serious tone; however this game is not serious. In fact, it’s one of the funniest games I’ve ever played. The game is set to a Grindhouse theme, so if you are a fan of the 1970’s horror films, or most recently, the Grindhouse film series by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, and it fits in perfectly. The game has the imperfect film rail look, with lines and blurs appearing in the film frame, the places you go to are all Grindhouse specialists, like the hospital, the carnival and of course, the swamp. This added with all the cheesy bad acting the incredulous amount of gore and a swear-a-thon, make it a game not for the faint hearted. In fact, this game apparently uses the word “fuck” 189 times, and holds the record for the most use of the word in video game history. The constant bickering between Agent G and Detective Washington is just absolutely hilarious, and Varla Guns adds to the fun when she is around. To add more to the overdramatic tone of the game, we have a narrator who deep voiced and sarcastic, who makes the game complete in terms of giving us the most cheese I’ve ever seen in a video game. And that actually, is what separates this from the original game series, the other four games had terrible acting (especially the second), but was unintentional. This is as obvious as can be, and it’s fantastic.
Now onto the game play, this is a rail shooter so your path is predetermined, and you shoot on screen any mutants that appear with the Wiimote. The simple controls make the game very easy to get a grip of, but difficult to perfect. You see, there is a meter appropriately called Goregasm, which you will climax if you get a certain amount of shots landed on mutant flesh in succession. Reaching Goregasm is difficult enough, keeping the Goregasm meter full is even harder. What does getting Goregasm do? It gives you maximum points for hitting mutants. You may not be that bothered about your high scores, especially if you are playing it for the first time, but trust me, this game is one of the few games around that makes a high score system proud again. Competing with your friends for the high score is one of the fun things to do if you have done most of the things in the game.
That being said, there is a lot to do. There is the basic storyline, which follow the same format of “railing” through all the mutants, listening to the bickering between G and Washington, getting to the cut scene and beat the boss. As simple as that sounds, Overkill do it so well and the bickering is so funny you won’t get bored. There are other things to shoot besides mutants, like golden encrusted brains which give you a bonus score, health and grenade packs which speak for themselves, but most entertainingly, something called “Slo-Mo-Fo Mode”, which slows down the video game and increasing the air in mutants heads so you can shoot them there and hope for them to pop off with ease. Slo-Mo-Fo mode is absolutely satisfying, seeing all the heads pop or the limbs drop (I sound really sick but who cares!) in slow motion. It’s also great so you can reach Goregasm quicker, so they walk hand in hand. All of this is in one level, and you have many to complete the game, so that’s the main thing.
As I said there is a lot to do, if you complete the storyline, you can do many other things, like buy and upgrade your weapons all that specialise in doing different things, you can play minigames with up to four players. You can unlock art and music; you can view the cut scenes from the game. But the best thing that is the Directors Cut and More Mutants options. The Directors Cut is exactly what it says on the tin, it adds more layers to your levels to make it longer and the parts that it includes aren’t in the original rail. More Mutants simply adds more to the game, so all together you can be playing a longer version of the game, get more points than you did in the first place. It also is more difficult naturally.
My favourite thing about this game is actually the soundtrack. It follows the same Grindhouse theme, and it’s just brilliant. I’ll go as far as to say it’s possibly my favourite original soundtrack I’ve ever heard. When you’re playing the game the songs are all instrumentals, however the same songs in their entirety are played in the menu screens and listening to these songs with the lyrics are just so funny. The best song is the Carnival song because it’s a typical Country song with horrible lyrics, it’s just wickedly brilliant. So there are two ways to listen to each track because even as instrumentals the songs are good.
One thing I’d like to bring up is the ending. This ending is very controversial, it’s sick and twisted, and I’d recommend you really consider the game rating if you were to play this game, I don’t think any game can say their ending is as controversial as this. I’m surprised they got away with it. That being said it works well with the theme and if you don’t mind gore and the controversy then you’ll be fine.
One thing I’d like to say is this game didn’t sell tremendously, Sega games without the name Sonic don’t nowadays, which is disappointing. As I said Sega have been publishing solid games recently in the adult sections, yet they don’t sell. Sega as a brand name doesn’t sell which is really poor; they are making good games and deserve more recognition for their efforts. Because of this you can find this game quite cheap now, because it didn’t sell well enough, but in a certain way it’s good because now it won’t be such a financial risk to go for it. I believe if this game did sell more, the controversy surrounding the ending and the amount of swearing would have been under a lot more scrutiny.
Overkill is my favourite game on the Wii, it’s so cheesy and over the top you can’t help but love it, if you don’t mind the more controversial elements. It plays very well, it’s funny, it’s trashy, it’s grimy, and it’s brilliant. The only flaws are the fact that it won’t appeal to a wider audience, and once in a while you will get a glitch, like a mutant stuck in the wall or a hitch in time frame, but it steadies itself past these very quickly. Apart from that, this is close to perfection; I doubt you will play a more satisfying rail shooter than this.
