Old School Game Reviews: SSX Tricky

Welcome to the third edition of the “Old School Game Review”. The last two games I covered were Sega Mega Drive titles, “Streets of Rage” and "Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe". This time? I'm going back 10 years instead of 20, and talking about a Playstation 2 title. To celebrate the release of the new title in the series, my third Old School Game review is the amazing, SSX Tricky.

Not familiar with the “Old School Game Review”? It’s basically a gift wrapped game review so in theory it’s nothing new. But what is different is that before I divulge into the review I talk about what makes this game so good, and some facts and memories the game gave me. Oh and what counts as an old school game? My ruling is the game has to be at least ten years old.

When did this game come out? 2001

What console was it released on? Playstation 2

What else was it released on? Nintendo Gamecube, XBox, Game Boy Advance

Compilations? None.

Other interesting facts? Well this game was released less than 10 years ago in the UK... if you bought the Gamecube, XBox or GBA versions. But I bought the PS2 version so that's my excuse! I'm not cheating with my criteria!

Best memories? Probably doing the first course, Garibaldi, with a score of more than 1,000,000 for the first time. I don't know what the official world record is, but this is the biggest score on YouTube at 4.6 million, which is, quite frankly, ridiculous. Still, it's an amazing task to get a score of 1 million. I think my all time record is around 1.3 million, although it's been a very long time since I had the data on my memory card (oh those were the days... when you used memory cards... it felt like yesterday!).

Now onto the review!

For me, SSX Tricky, 10 years later, is still the best snowboarding game of all time.

SSX Tricky is the sequel to the original SSX game, which was released a year earlier as part of the new EA Sport BIG selection, a set of sports games that were unrealistic in style. SSX Tricky was basically SSX 2.0, with many of the tracks and characters making returns from the original games. But labelling SSX Tricky that way and thinking that it's nothing more would be a big mistake. SSX Tricky takes everything that was good about SSX, and mashes it up to make it bigger and better in every aspect.

The SSX game series are, as we said earlier, an unrealistic series of snowboarding games. The main course of the original SSX is a snowboarding race, and you can do tricks on your snowboard to try and give your character a speed boost for every successful trick pulled off. So you raced hard, did tricks off the big jumps and used your speed boost and try to finish the races in first place.

This is not going to end well...

SSX Tricky builds on this in a much bigger way. Much bigger. You see, you can still race against the other competitors, there's a "Race" mode for that. You can still use your tricks to gain speed boosts as well. But... the tricks are bigger and wilder than what was available in the original game. Not only that, but if you store your speed boosts to the top of the bar, the song remixes to include "It's Tricky" by Run DMC and you have access to what are called Uber Tricks. Uber Tricks are what make SSX Tricky special. They're incredibly flamboyant, melodramatic tricks on your snowboard that take a while to pull off, but look absolutely awesome. You also score much more points for pulling these off as a reward.

You'd be mistaken to think that so much emphasis on tricks in this game means there would be an actual trick orientated game wouldn't you? Well there is. On one end you have the "Race" mode, and on the other you have the "Showoff" mode. The purpose of "Showoff" is to, well, show off your tricks. More accurately, it's purpose is to give you the opportunity to get the biggest score tally possible. "Showoff" mode has big coloured icicles across the course, and doing tricks successfully through these icicles gives you a multiplier on the score given for the tricks done. The colour codes are yellow for a double multiplier, orange for a triple multiplier, and red for a quintuple multiplier. These icicles are pivotal for getting the highest scores in "Showoff" mode.

So you have "Race" mode and "Showoff" mode. You can access these options through "Single Player" and "Multiplayer" mode. But if you start from scratch only have access to a few tracks. To unlock more tracks you have to play the "World Circuit" mode. With "World Circuit" mode you, one by one, take on the courses in either "Showoff" mode or "Race" mode, it's completely your choice. With "Showoff" mode, you have to get a certain score to get either a Bronze, Silver or Gold award. Getting at least a Bronze will unlock the next track on "World Circuit", and it will also be available on "Single Player" and "Multiplayer" modes. For "Race" mode on "World Circuit" you will have to race the track three times, and will have to finish in the Top 3 in each race to qualify for the next one. After the third race, your placement will have to be in the Top 3 again to get a medal - Bronze, Silver and Gold again.

Getting a medal in "World Circuit" gives your character skill points to develop the attributes that are important to SSX Tricky - Edging is your sharpness for turning corners, Speed is your, erm, speed, Stability is how hard it is for you to get knocked off your snowboard and Tricks is how quickly you can do your tricks. If you get a Bronze medal you get two points to add to your attributes, four for a Silver, and six for a Gold.

There's the checkpoint! Caution signs? Booby traps? Hmm...

 The characters in SSX Tricky are brilliant. You have lots to choose from, and you have to unlock a good few of them by getting gold medals in "World Circuit". All the characters specialise in different methods of SSX - some are very good at tricks, some are very good racers. There are 13 in total and all have different personalities - Moby and JP are arrogant players from England and France respectively, where as Marty and Kaori are quiet and shy players from Germany and Japan respectively. My favourite character however is Psymon, who is completely nuts but says some of the funniest and random lines in the game like shouting "French toast and syrup!" at the top of his lungs mid jump.

Another thing about the characters in this game is that for the only time in the entire series for SSX, there's an al-star cast who do the voices. You have Lucy Liu who does Elise's voice, of Ally McBeal and Kill Bill fame, Billy Zane who does Brosi and is famous for his roles in Titanic and Twin Peaks, David Arquette who does Eddie, famous for his role in the Scream film series, and singers Bif Naked who plays Zoe and Macy Gray who plays Seeiah. This all-stellar cast of voice actors to a great job and add to each character's personality really well. It's arguably one of the best jobs done by a group of celebrities in a video game in honesty.

The controls are quite slick in SSX Tricky, and once again are an improvement on the original SSX. You can use the D-pad or the analog stick to move your character and can sort this out in the Settings menu to change it to your preferences. You move with either, and you flip or turn your board with the D-pad, and with the shoulder buttons you can grab your board. You can press multiple shoulder buttons to do more complicated grabs with your board, which usually give you more points. Combining a turn or flip, or both (to make your character twist diagonally) and multiple shoulder buttons gives you by far the most points apart from the Uber tricks available if you fill your boost bar to the top. Regardless of how many combos you do, how many flips and turns you include, it's important to make sure that your character is as vertical as possible for landing, otherwise your character wipes out on the course, making your score not count on that 'trick'.

If you're racing, you can knock characters over by pressing the analog stick either left or right depending where they are to your character. Be warned though, characters often target you for revenge in the races if you continue to attack them. But if you knock a character flat off their board by using this technique, you're rewarded with a full boost bar straight away which can be useful. Your characters also have relationships with each other - some are friends with you while others are your enemies. For instance, Psymon fancies Zoe, so they are considered friends. Luther is a bully and picks on the cute Kaori a lot, so they're enemies. Your relationships can get better or worse depending on your actions on the track, if you hit them a few times they'll target you in the next few races for revenge. On the grand scheme of things this isn't that important but it all adds to the game that is SSX Tricky.

One of the finest parts of SSX Tricky is the pretty damn good soundtrack. "It's Tricky" by Run DMC as mentioned before, is the title track of the game, and the original song and the remixed versions on the game all make the game that much better. It's a fabulous song and thoroughly works with the style of game SSX Tricky provides. There are also some good electronic dance and rap songs on the soundtrack too, and Bif Naked, also mentioned before, has a track on here. A few tracks by Mix Master Mike of the Beastie Boys are also featured, and Mix Master Mike is also a secret character in the game... if you use cheat codes. Over the gameplay are parts of commentary provided by Rahzel, who is a beatboxer, who does a fantastic job of putting over the action and doing some random beatboxing once in a while. He did a similar job in the original SSX too.

Luther (top right) is totally going to land that trick. Eddie's afro is impressive huh?

As you play through "World Circuit" you unlock snowboards and character costumes to customise your character's look. The snowboards are all in different shapes, and each character has a preferred board type. Some boards are best for tricks, others for races and some for in between. If a character uses a board they're unfamiliar with, they usually struggle a little more with this board, but do get access to a different set of Uber tricks if they fill their boost bar up. Once again it all adds to the game that is SSX Tricky. If you get a gold in every "Race" and "Showoff" track on "World Circuit", you unlock a chrome outfit, which looks pretty cool.

If you ever want to take a breather and try things out in your own time you can always use the "Practise" mode. You can do it in either a "Race" mode style, but without any other competitors on screen so you're taking the track on in your own time, or you can practise certain tricks on one large jump. The latter also includes a tutorial to help you do certain tricks that are compiled in each characters individual "Trick Book". The "Trick Book" is a tick sheet of sorts, to fill up to hone your skills of performing tricks. If you complete a character's "Trick Book" you unlock that character's best snowboard in the game.

Overall "SSX Tricky" is an amazing game. It pains me to know this game didn't sell very well. It's completely unjustified. For me, even 10 years later, "SSX Tricky" is by far not only the best SSX title in the series, but the best snowboarding game ever created. It mixes fine snowboarding racing, and over the top tricks. It has a brilliant soundtrack and the characters are all great and will appeal to lots of different players. "SSX Tricky" gets so many things right it's almost perfect. It really deserved more people to play this grand game, but with the new SSX game just coming out, at least new players will get a taste of a new, fresh title to play. But if you ever want to get a retro SSX title (I feel old typing that, it was 10 years ago though), this is the one to get. "SSX Tricky" trumps every snowboarding title out there before this release, and arguably, after.

Rating: ****1/2 stars

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Old School Game Reviews: Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe

Welcome to the second edition of the “Old School Game Review”. Last time I covered the classic Sega Mega Drive title, “Streets of Rage”, and you can read that review here. But while I’m sticking with the Sega Mega Drive, I’m taking a different route this time. I’m going to review a game you might not have heard of. This is a game called Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe.

Not familiar with the “Old School Game Review”? It’s basically a gift wrapped game review so in theory it’s nothing new. But what is different is that before I divulge into the review I talk about what makes this game so good, and some facts and memories the game gave me. Oh and what counts as an old school game? My ruling is the game has to be at least ten years old.

When did this game come out? 1990

What console was it released on? Sega Mega Drive/Genesis

What else was it released on? Atari ST, Amiga, Amiga CD32, PC, Commodore 64, NES, Sega Master System, Game Boy, Game Boy Advance.

Compilations? None really.

Other interesting facts? Quite a lot of people who have played this way weren’t actually sure if there was an original Speedball game. The original didn’t sell well outside the UK at all despite being well received. There in fact is a Speedball one although the game was not quite as good as this sequel. Speedball came out on the Amiga but was also ported to the NES, the Master System and the PC.

Best memories? I love the fact that I borrowed this game from a friend, and that friend aside (who I haven’t spoken to for years), I have yet to hear one person hear of this game personally. I loved taking my team which was slowly built up through the season, kick some ass and struggle to win the league with a patched up side. Then if you won the league or won the playoff, you’d do it all over again but it was even more difficult in the first division!

Now onto the review!

Speedball 2 is a forgotten relic; a fictional sports game that’s solid and has more depth to it than most genuine sports games can capacitate.

Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe was released in 1990 on the Sega Mega Drive (or Genesis for you Americans). It’s the official sequel to the sparsely heard of “Speedball”, which was released a year earlier on the Amiga, that was well received in the United Kingdom but barely received attention off these British Isles. Speedball 2 was released on the next generation Mega Drive, which naturally had improved graphics and the game took advantage of this and the other components that made it a much more powerful game console.

Speedball 2 is a fictional sports game set in 2105, and takes place ten years after the beginning of Speedball as a ‘sport’ where there is violence and chaos everywhere, the game is abandoned to the underground. In 2105, they try to revive the sport and all its vicious and bloody glory. The game has two divisions of eight teams and you take control of Brutal Deluxe, a new team on the scene just starting out. Your team is the weakest of the bottom division and it’s your job to either boost your current squad’s abilities to compete with the rest of the division, or to replace them with already established players that are available randomly on transfer.

So what type of sports game is Speedball? Well, in a nutshell, it’s a mixture of handball, hockey, rugby and football. It’s 9 players against 9, which consist of a goalie, two defenders, three midfielders, two wingers and a forward. The idea is to throw the ball in the other team’s goal. Sounds easy, but this is a game where violence is at the essence and is also rewarded. You can violently tackle other players and punch them, and if a player gets injured you get the points equivalent of a goal. The best way to pass the ball around is by throwing it from one player to another, although the opposition can easily intercept. You can run past players if you’re fast enough but they can tackle you. It’s a tough game.

You get points for injuring the opposition. He's bleeding by the way. Brutal.

Scoring starts at 10 points per goal but there are perks across the field that affect your scoring. On the two sides of the middle of the arena are multipliers, putting the ball through it once multiplies scoring by 150%, a second time will boost it to 200%, totalling at 15 and 20 points per goal respectively. On the sides of the arena are five stars, one side belongs to one team and one to the other. If you throw the ball at a star, you get one fifth of a goal (2 points, boosted to 3 or 4 with multipliers. Getting all five starts gives you the full equivalent of a goal, and the stars reset. Also note that if your opposite player throws the ball at your stars, or in the multipliers, it retracts the last bonus. Near both goals is a green circular object that each time you hit, gives you one fifth of a goal (once again 2, 3 or 4 points depending on the multiplier) but these points cannot be retracted unlike the stars and the multipliers. To emphasise the violence of the game, towards the end walls of the goal are buttons that heat the ball up intensely and you can throw it at your opposition, scorching them (for some reason it doesn’t scorch your players, but that logic can be overlooked). Also to reiterate, you get a goal equivalent of points if you injure an opposition member, so that can be a tactic if your team is strong enough to break the opposition down.

So with all these methods and perks to attempt to increase your score, you simply, have to score more than your opposition to win. But Speedball is hard. It’s a very hard game, especially as you start as the weakest team in your division. To make matters worse, you have to score quickly; the game is two halves of 90 seconds. While Speedball is a hard game it’s thoroughly enjoyable. I find it a lot more fun to play this game than most real life sports games. And while it’s violent, it doesn’t do it in a way that is tasteless, because the game is 2D and is viewed from above the arena; you see very little of what happens on the field that way.

There are other perks to. Randomly, items will be placed on the field that can temporarily boost speed or power, give the ball to your forward instantly, give the ball who got the item instantly, freeze all players on the spot temporarily, or instantly make all players fall over on the spot. Lastly, you can find coins that is used to purchase players in the League or boost your current squad’s abilities.

The main game mode is the league, as explained above. You start off as the weakest team and can build your players up to be competent, or, as a quick fix, purchase players on transfer. Either way you have to build your team to be competent and quickly – if you don’t place in the top two at the end of the season it’s game over. It’s hard but it’s a great challenge if you’re willing to take it. To get coin, you have to collect coins that are randomly placed on the arena floor in the match. I believe there’s a coins boost for winning matches too, although I’m not too sure about the technicalities of that. Either way, you find coin on the arena, collect it. You’ll need it to boost your team. Trust me, you don’t want to try and take on the league with your team the way it starts. If you get to second place at the end of the season, which is 14 games (you play all the teams twice, like in football), you’ll have a playoff match with the team that finished seventh in the top league. The team placed seventh in the top league is usually a tougher team that won the league, so it’s a tough match to go through. Winning the league is the easier route, as you then automatically gain promotion to the top league. The top league is much harder than the second league, all the teams play at a high tempo and hit you hard. You’ll once again be the weakest team in the division, but you’ll have the chance to further boost your squad again and have access to even better players than you did in the bottom league. You’ll have to win this league or its game over. Either way, the game ends at the end of the second season. You can also play the League mode like a manager; watch the games unfold and purchase or build your team up yourself, although this is no where near as fun (and it's much more difficult) as playing the game itself.

Playing League mode is a lot of fun, this is your starting line up, but you can buy better (and cooler looking) players later on.

The points structure in the league is quite simple. If you win a game you get ten points in the league. But you also get bonus points based on your tally for each match, you get one point for every 10 points scored in the match. For instance, if you win a match 52-16, you get 10 points for winning that match, and 5 more points for scoring more than 50 points. The opposition would get 1 point for scoring more than 10 points in that match. So basically it’s okay to lose matches, providing that you score a lot of goals. The top sides in both divisions score loads against the weaker sides, so you need to be capable of scoring high against these sides to compete as well. Winning 14 games out of 14 games doesn’t mean you win the league, because that will give you 140 points, but if you win each game 8-0 rather than 80-0, that’s a large difference (140 points, where as 14 x 8 is 112, giving you a tally of 252 points, a lot more). So win games and score lots, and you’ll be fine. Scoring lots and not always winning is also fine, but don’t depend on just winning.

There are other modes as well. There’s the Cup, which puts you in two legged matches against random teams from the second division. Other the course of these two matches you need a better total tally than your opponent and then you’re through to the next round. You take on three second division teams and then a team from the top division, usually one of the elite sides of that division. In these matches you also have to collect coin, although you can’t purchase players in this competition, meaning you have to boost your players with the coin you collect on the field. The Cup mode is okay, but it’s not a very balanced competition; you have three relatively decent sides and then put against one of the best sides in the game for the final. You’ll find more balance however, in the Knockout mode. In this mode you basically take on each side individually in order of difficulty, and if you lose once you’re out. Once again you cannot purchase players in this game, but have to boost your original squad with the coin you find. This game is arguably harder than the cup because of the fact that you’re depending much more on the coin you find than in the league. But it’s a thoroughly rewarding game mode as well. Lastly there’s a practise mode, which is not very good, as there’s no opposition. You take to the field on your own and can pass the ball around and score in an empty net.

The controls of Speedball are very simple. You only control one player at a time. All the other players are controlled by AI. If your player is off screen, you’re in control of another player afterwards. So if you’re in midfield and the opposition have the ball and start to attack your defence, you’ll probably start controlling a defender or a goalie. You can press any of the action buttons (A, B or C) to tackle if you haven’t got the ball. Once you have the ball, you use the D-pad to move and pressing any of the actions will throw the ball. You can throw it low or high, a low throw is quick but easy for an opponent to intercept. A high throw can take out an entire line of formation if thrown forwards, and your player (or an opposition player) can catch it on its way down to the ground. So you simply throw the ball to players, to arena perks or to the goal. If you haven’t got the ball you tackle the opposition, or if the ball is thrown into the air, try to catch it. As I said, the controls are very simple and easy to learn, but the game itself is difficult to master. Also be aware that the arena is closed off, there’s no out of bounds area and throwing the ball at the wall bounces it back into play and can be used to your advantage.

For its time, the music, while not having many songs, is quite good. The songs are basically some techno beats, to emphasise the futuristic setting of the game. The sounds are also fine, the tacking songs sound harsh, the throwing of the ball sounds reasonably realistic and because the players are all wearing metal protection and the walls and floor are metal, there are a lot of metallic sound effects which all add to the atmosphere nicely. Also you have an announcer saying “Get ready” after a goal has been scored, or the start of a new half, which is nice, and when you score you get a buzzer noise, followed by the same guy saying “Replay!”, and the build up and goal done in slow motion, which all add to the game. There is a multiplayer option available on the game, but it’s just a simple match between you and a friend. You have a certain budget of coin to spend to boost your players’ skills to, and you and your friend can do this in your own ways. Otherwise it’s just a plain one on one match between you and your friend; there are no league or cup options or anything like that, which is a shame.

I love the celebration guy. It's the same guy. With the same palette colour. Every time.

Overall Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe is an often overlooked game that deserves more merit than it has. I’m not saying it’s the best sports game of all time, but I will however say that it’s possibly the best fictional sport game ever made – there aren’t many of them around and this game does a solid job of making a fake sport interesting. I always thought that the premises for Speedball 2 would make a very good film; it has the violence, the passion, the energy and believability of a real life sport and would make a fine story to be told on a cinema screen. The game being done in the underground would also add to the dirty, filthy almost coliseum-like element the game has.

This is true praise of the game. For a game that came out over 20 years ago on a console limited in comparison to today’s standards, Speedball 2 does a lot. It’s frenetic, it’s difficult, it’s a tough game but it’s more than playable. It’s a great game. It’s such a shame that reboots of this game have been unsuccessful, it’s not because it’s a bad game (although the reboots have never touched the quality this game had), it’s because, well, how do you market a fictional sport? People aren’t interested in these type of games, not anymore. In the Mega Drive/Genesis era people were interested in innovation and ‘different’ games, nowadays all people want to do is shoot stuff. If they like sports games they’ll pick a replica of a real life sport done on video game. Speedball 2 is lost as a forgotten relic and it’s a damn shame.

If you have your old Mega Drive/Genesis and have never played this game and enjoy the sound of it based on this review, seriously, get it. In the UK at least you can find copies very cheap on Amazon, and I doubt it’s much different in other countries. The game sold relatively well back 21 years ago, so that’s not an issue. Sustainability is. But if you’re bored, want to play a retro game that you’ve never played before, give it a go. I implore you. Because to me, Speedball 2 is a forgotten relic; a fictional sports game that’s solid and has more depth to it than most genuine sports games can capacitate, and it simply doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

Rating: ****1/4 stars

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My Winter Wipeout Experience - Part 3

Note: This is part 3 of 6. I'm posting one part a day. The total word count exceeds 31,000 words so it's going to be a long read. If you missed part 1 you can read it by clicking here, and part 2 here!

I left Portsmouth on Saturday morning, the 29^th October. It was an odd feeling, walking towards the station with my suitcase. I was about to do something that I would remember for the rest of my life. It was nearly a week without my wife and daughter, and while I’ve spent that amount of time away from them before it’s not nice, but I knew that it was more than worth it, and that hopefully overall, it would be one of the best experiences of my life. I got on the train to the London Underground, and it was relatively straight forward. I wanted to bring a Nintendo DS, or a Game Boy Advance (retro, yo!) but I couldn’t find either. I ended up bringing The Beatles Authorised Biography by Hunter Davies, a great book if you’re interested in the legendary band from Liverpool. It’s a huge book in size and length, and that’s why I chose it. At a WHS Smith in London I bought a copy of Kerrang! Too, but that was crap. I remembered why I never buy that magazine anymore.

I got to the Underground and took the fast track train to Heathrow. All the time I spent in London I kept looking around, seeing if there were people taking the same route as me. I didn’t see any of the contestants on the way there. I got to Heathrow, and we were all to meet there. We had to board for Madrid for 4pm if I remember correctly, but my train times got me to Heathrow for around 11am! The times I was given by Endemol were incredibly early and I was definitely the first to arrive. I spent over an hour there, impatiently, looking around at people who looked like they were waiting for other people. I waited outdoors, and once in a while explored indoors to see if any group of people were waiting there. It was passed 12pm when my wife called. She asked if I saw anyone yet, I told her I didn’t. I did get a little worried, maybe I was in the wrong place. I was at Terminal 3, did I go to the wrong terminal? I checked my instructions provided by Endemol and I was in the right place.

Terminal 3, Heathrow, the Winter Wipeout meeting point. Exciting.

It was getting close to 1pm when I noticed a young couple sitting across from me. The girl was ginger and clocked me too. I didn’t say anything to her and vice versa, I didn’t think it was a definite contestant or anything so I kept myself from doing anything. I once again went indoors. It was probably nearly 1:30pm by then. I went up to the first floor and used the toilet. I didn’t actually check the first floor previously, and checked the area out again. Once again, no gathering. So after relieving myself in the lavatory, I went back downstairs. I saw a small young lady with a clipboard, she had dyed red hair and an orange top. She looked at me and I her, but once again, I didn’t want to say anything just in case it wasn’t someone I was supposed to meet up with. I went outside before I heard a man call “John!”. I turned around and saw this big man, in his late forties or early fifties, with big frizzy blond hair. He asked if I was John and I said yes, and he pointed indoors. I went in and saw the redhead again, who welcomed me, and there were a few other people there with her.

The 'ginger' lady was Sarah, who looked amazing after just recently having a baby.

This redhead is Frankie, or Francesca, another researcher who was who we were meeting at the airport. It was her job to gather us there, look after us in London, on the plane and to get us to the hotel. She’s in her mid twenties and a great looking lady, and saw us all as her children, in a funny way. She was absolutely brilliant. I also saw the ginger girl I mentioned earlier, who was with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend soon left her and we talked about how we noticed each other earlier. This was Sarah, a contestant on the show. She’s the same age as me, and had only months before had a baby, but she was in absolutely fantastic shape. Sarah and I got on very well; she seemed to like my sense of humour which is good as I’m usually hit or miss with it. The big guy with the frizzy blond hair? That was Simon, who is you watched the episode you’ll distinctively know him as the husband of the couple of caricature drawers. Simon, and his wife Sheba, were there. Sheba was really nice too, and her caricature drawings are as awesome as Simon’s. I remember spotting Sebastian, the stylish clothes shop owner from London, and we looked at each other and had a little joke about the fact that we were disappointed that we found someone else with a beard. He’s another ginger, and I have a ginger beard, but naturally mine was much much bigger than his! Sebastian was cool, we got on quite well, my favourite thing about him was his hat, I have a picture of me posing with it on my Facebook! Another person that I remember seeing early on was Natalie, the Ukrainian dancer, who I have a mutual friend in common with. This mutual friend went to sixth form with me, and to university with Natalie. Natalie is absolutely gorgeous, a beautiful lady, but is a proper Mancunian lass with a hard attitude when she wants to. She’s lovely though and I mean that affectionately. I can’t remember who else was there already, but slowly over the next half hour to an hour, the other nineteen contestants made their way to the meeting point at Terminal 3. My wife called not long after meeting my fellow contestants, and I told her I was in the right place. That was the last time I was to speak with her for another five days.

Simon and Sheba, the couple. They do awesome caricature drawings and fought to draw me!

After most people arrived, Frankie told us that we were to go in pairs, or as she put it, buddies, and that our buddy would also be our roommate for when we got to the hotel. The two buddies in each pair would have to look out for each other so no one gets lost. As I said before, my roommate was generous enough to pay for my deposit for the hotel room, so I was paired with a really awesome guy. His name is also John, and he and I are two of three John’s on this episode of Winter Wipeout. My buddy, John Glass, or Scottish John, or Whiskey John, or Whiskey in the John, was a really cool guy, we hit it off straight away and talked about music and a little about video games. He, if you didn’t watch the show, was the whiskey blender, or, as Wipeout put it, the whiskey taster in the show. It’s funny because Scottish John doesn’t drink too much and he didn’t like the fact that Wipeout were making him out to be the stereotypical Scottish drunk! He took it well though and it’s all a laugh. Another person I hit it off with straight away was Jody, definitely the smallest person in the group, who was the grave digger on the show. She was dressed all in black and had what looked like New Rock boots on, and lots of tattoos. She looked very gothic, and I do love that look, so it’s natural I hit it off with her straight away.

Jody and I hit it off straight away, she's a really sweet lady, not the angry gravedigger she portrayed on TV!

Frankie gave us our plane tickets, our 300 peso and also some instructions and information about who to call in emergency, and some local travel information. We all got through the ticket checks, the passport security and into the shopping section. Along the way I started to slowly get to know the nineteen people I’d spend the next five days with, and attempt to compete with on the Wipeout course. I’d just like to say that overall, the 19 contestants I spent my time in Argentina are amazing. I could not have asked to be with another set of 19 random strangers from Great Britain. I got on with everyone, of course to different degrees, but I can’t say I disliked anyone, or had a falling out with anyone there. My Winter Wipeout experience was marvellous, and they definitely had a major contribution in that.

I can’t remember who I sat next to on the plane there, if anyone. But the flight to Madrid was nice and short and when we arrived in Spain it was very dark. After the short stay in Spain, we headed off to Buenos Aires in our huge 13 hour flight. As I said, I really can’t remember much of the journey there for some reason. I remember struggling to sleep, which is an oddity for me. That being said, I’ve never had a 13 hour flight before! I had an issue sleeping backwards with my head up, it made me feel sick, but resting my head on the chair in front of me made me, intermittently, get sleep. I also remember having my first taste of Argentinian cuisine. In the early hours, probably three quarters of the way there, at around 5am, I got woken up with a sandwich. It had meat and a liquidly sauce in it, and didn’t look too pleasant. But I was so hungry, and promised myself that I’d have to adapt to new cuisine in a different country, so I tried it. It was actually a salami and cheese spread sandwich, and while the bread itself was dry, it was quite nice. A bit later on, around 8 to 9am, a few hours before we landed, we had a breakfast. The breakfast was a similar sandwich, with some dry cereal and milk, yoghurt and some tea. It was okay, plane food isn’t supposed to be the best so I was satisfied. We landed at around 10 or 11am and the long flight was over!

Landing in Madrid.

When we landed, we all walked out and went through customs, to the other side where we were greeted by lots of protestors. I don’t know much about Argentinian culture but it seems like politics are very important over there, probably more so than in England. I didn’t know why they were protesting and what about, nor with all due respect, did I care. I’m not that big on politics in my own country never mind someone else’s. We arrived and quickly noticed Nick, the guy from the audition waiting for us. Nick welcomed us to Argentina and basically outlined our next day, Day 2 of 6. We were to get on a bus to the hotel, and leave our things there before having a little wonder about the city of Buenos Aires, and arrive back at the hotel for 3pm. So that’s basically what we did!

Buenos Aires is a beautiful city, albeit run down, especially in comparison to a lot of English cities. The locals were very friendly for the most part. Quite a lot of us separated when we went to explore Buenos Aires, and there were around five or six of us that wanted to relax at a café. Some of us ordered food and drink, while most people just wanted to sit down and chat. I had a Pepsi or two, but didn’t want to order food, primarily because I only had my 300 peso and couldn’t afford to take out much more money, so I wanted to use it sparsely. Besides I wanted to have a decent meal later on. We did a bit more walking around but it was just passed 2pm when we decided to risk going back to the hotel earlier to check in. Thankfully the hotel people were okay and prepared early enough for us to check in then.

  

John W, Lawrence, Simon, Sheba, Ben and myself chilling outside a bar. Cheers Ben for this picture!

The hotel was a complete contrast to the rest of Buenos Aires. As I said the city was striking but in poor condition, when compared to English cities, but the hotel was a modern building in excellent form. I mean there were cracks in the walls here and there but it’s hard to criticise it because the rooms were great. Before we actually went to our hotel rooms Nick asked us to get out our Winter Wipeout outfits and put them on, for a photo and so they were happy with the outfits we had. So the two bathrooms in the hotel were packed full of random Brits putting on odd costumes, it was hilarious! I put on my outfit, which everyone loved. Nick liked it too, and I had my photo taken, and then that was it, it was off to the hotel rooms!

Mine and "Whiskey in the John"'s hotel room. Pretty nifty.

The hotel rooms were very pleasant. There was nice space, although the bathroom was tiny, but otherwise it was a really nice room and it was nice and cosy. Me and Scottish John plonked our stuff on our beds and just relaxed for a bit. We had a decent widescreen TV there, the first hotel I’ve been in that has one, and there was a Premier League match replay of Tottenham’s 3-1 win over Queens Park Rangers. Having a quick look through the channels showed a lot of sport, especially football, and some Argentinian chat programs that I understood nothing about, and some random American shows with subtitles or dubbed Spanish acting. I remember Scottish John and I relaxing later on when they put on Scary Movie… at 4 or 5pm in the afternoon. They edited a lot of it out, naturally, having lots of sex, violence, drug use and gore, but a lot of it was kept in, which was ridiculous! There was a scene where a character gets stabbed over and over again and won’t die, and it was completely unedited. The swearing for the most part was edited out. The sex scene with the huge ‘climax’ at the end was cut short thankfully, and the bathroom ‘peephole’ scene was also edited. But lots of it, especially the violence, was kept in. It was ridiculous!

We were next door to two other contestants Sharn and Sam. I didn’t speak much to Sharn in the entire time I was there, but she was cool, and had an epic night out on the final night in Argentina. Sam, the pet detective, was really nice and you could tell she was having a ball the entire time and was pleasant to everyone. They heard us from next door and told us that at the top of the hotel was a pool, a sun bathing area and a sauna. I’m telling you, we had some awesome luxury in Argentina and it was times like these I really realised how lucky I was to be given this opportunity. Scottish John and I got ready and headed upwards to the pool. Only we two Johns and then a little later, Lawrence, went in the pool. All of the ladies were relaxing and sunbathing. Lawrence is the guy who unfortunately broke his leg. He took the news very very well; he finished the qualifier in 5^th place and was one of two ball crossers on the episode. He was a major contender to win Winter Wipeout in all honesty, he was in great shape despite being one of the bigger contestants, and had a lot of energy on course. He has an amazing lifestyle; he does some form of Spanish ballet and is also a driving instructor, and really loves his Japanese wife and their two kids. He was a true pro and had a great sense of humour to boot.

Sharn, Ben and Sam in the tent. Note the TV that they put pirate copies of Total Wipeout on!

So Lawrence, Scottish John and I were swimming in the pool, just relaxing really and trying to discretely practise our swimming for the big day, which was the next day by the way. We soon moved to the balcony, which was the sunbathing area, and it was incredibly hot. As I said it was spring in Argentina, and their spring was a little hotter than our summer, which is incredibly hot in my standards. I sunburn very easily and don’t do hot weather in general, but I felt I had to make the most of this opportunity to relax and enjoy the sun because we had some hard work to do after. On the balcony were Sarah, Amy, Ben and Aarron I believe.

I spoke of Sarah earlier, but Amy was just amazing. I didn’t really pay much attention to Amy when we all met up, but soon that would change, as she kicked ass in Winter Wipeout more than anyone I say. No she didn’t win but she was the toughest cookie there, and worked her absolute butt off to get to the top three. Amy and I say this affectionately, was an emotional rollercoaster. She hated flying; she was so scared of flying. I noticed how nervous she was in England and Madrid, and consoled her a little, explaining my wife also despised flying. So she was scared and upset, then when we arrived in Argentina she was nice and bubbly, then when it came to doing the qualifier she was focused and hard as nails, then when she made it to the Ski Lift she was crying and doubted herself, but then she held on long enough for the Ski Lift and was happy. Then she was crying again and doubted herself about getting to the final three when she did Winter Blunderland but then was absolutely magical then, and made it through to the final. She had a very good time in the final too, and would have won a few of the other episodes. I loved Amy, she was amazing to watch and such a lovely person, all I did the entire time was want to hug her whenever she was upset!

Amy was awesome. So was Sebastian. At photobombing pictures!

Ben was pretty cool too; he also works for the NHS as an ambulance driver. He’s a really sweet guy and has an awesome sense of humour. He and Amy were really close and have kept close contact since Winter Wipeout. Aarron who was the runner up, was someone else I didn’t speak to as much but he’s a pretty cool guy. He was trying to win Winter Wipeout so he could afford the engagement ring he felt his girlfriend deserved, which was really sweet. He was very focused and determined the whole way, right to the end and was a true fighter and congratulated the eventual winner, John Woodfield like a true sportsman. You could tell Aarron was gutted but he took it very well and was very respectful to Woody.

Everyone was relaxing and it was just amazingly peaceful. It gave me a few moments to truly appreciate what I was doing. I looked over the balcony to the city of Buenos Aires. It was absolutely spectacular. I soaked it all in and it was then I thoroughly realised how far away I was from home. I’d never left the isles of the UK and Ireland. All of a sudden I was on the other side of the world. I missed my wife and Vivi but was having an absolute blast at the same time. I knew I had to make the most of this because it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, at least for me anyway.

The view from the hotel balcony. Completely in contrast to the nice hotel.

That Sunday, day two of the six day trip, was the official relaxing day. Day three, Monday, was the day we did the qualifier. We knew that at that point and knew we had to make the most of the evening to come. We all went to a restaurant suggested by Nick that was about a block away from us that purportedly did arguably the best Argentinian steak in the city. The twenty of us decided that it was the place to go. We relaxed for a few hours before the evening, when we left for the restaurant. There was a slight snag however, not many of us knew how to speak Spanish! The only person that could speak a decent amount of Spanish to communicate on a low level, was Mark, and he got the basics right enough for us all to buy food relatively accurately. Mark was the guy with the amazing moustache and he is truly awesome. Musically, he was the guy I had most in common with and he has links in the music industry, as does his girlfriend. He’s a truly awesome guy with an amazing moustache, and he was probably the most chilled guy there, he didn’t take it seriously at all and was there for the ride, which got him to fourth place overall in the competition. I asked Mark how he felt being so close to the finals and for the second opportunity in the champion of champions edition but he said along the lines of “that’s enough for me, I’m shattered and happy with how far I’ve got”. Mark sprained his finger in a bad way anyway, so probably couldn’t have competed if he wanted to.

The contestants chilling the night before the qualifier!

So Mark communicated as well as he could. Luckily we all wanted steak, and while there were different types of steak there, most of us weren’t fussed about them. We all ordered two variances of the steak and it was absolutely beautiful. I had mine medium rare and it was a huge piece, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was also given a pretty damn huge knife to cut it with, a huge knife especially when compared to the fork it came with! So we all ate that night and had a great time, and we all did random sweepstakes for the winner of Winter Wipeout. Ironically Mark and I had each other in the sweepstake and in banter told each other that we’re depending on the opposite to win! After the meal, we all pretty much went to bed. I think it was around 10pm at that time. Why? Because the next day was the qualifier! And worse yet, we’d be leaving for around 5:30. IN THE MORNING!

Mmmm... EPIC steak!

So that morning Scottish John and I got up at around 5am if I remember correctly, and we had our breakfasts that were left in the fridge, and showered. Our breakfast consisted of yoghurt, an apple, and a pastry I believe although it’s a bit of a blur now. Relatively plain food, but it was all good for the energies we needed to do this course! We most importantly, had our outfits on, and would remain in them until we finished the qualifier, more than twelve hours later! We had a very big day ahead of us and it was all about to begin!

We went downstairs were everyone was gathering, ready for the bus that would take us to Benavidez, on the outskirts of the city of Buenos Aires, where the Winter Wipeout course was. The bus arrived and we all crammed on. I think it was on the bus, that I met Maisie again for the first time since she gave me my audition and she was basically behind the producer, the lady in charge of this episode. Andy, the producer naturally has to make sure everything is running smoothly but he usually lets one researcher take the reins in each episode for experience and to take some of the load of himself. That was where Maisie came in. She filmed a lot of the actual television you saw on my episode, she got us in order, she gave out instructions and was there for any questions. Maisie and I however, are enemies! She’s a Scouse, but the wrong kind, she’s a Bluenose! Everton! Urgh! Just teasing of course, we got on very well actually and spoke a lot about Liverpool, while keeping the Liverpool/Everton banter going along the way. Maisie is really cool actually, and she has a passion for what she is doing. She’s also very good friends with Amanda Byram herself, and went on holiday with her after the season of Winter Wipeout ended.

So Nick and Maisie I believe, gave us the official countdown of what we were about to do. This was day three of six, and was the most important day of the experience. Basically, the run down of the day was arrive, get settled, and then the 20 contestants would branch out to groups of five. All four groups of five would rotate to do one of four things. First is basically waiting in the tent that was set up for us, that had pastries, drinks and a television that had, you guessed it, episodes of Total Wipeout on DVD. Can I just say that these DVDs were pirated! Terrible! Blasphemous! Illegal! The BBC need to be informed of this! What it’s actually the BBC committing these pirating acts? Hypocrisy! Just teasing of course! Secondly, we were to do some posing and skits outside of a house decorated in wintery things. All the running around, waving and growling on camera, that type of thing, was all done here. Thirdly, we had the rotator table posing. Last, was the interview with Amanda Byram herself. This interview is often shown on television as I’m sure you’re aware. Most of these things are cut out but all usually have a part in the total introductory package for your appearance on the show. Doing all of these things was weird yet wonderful. It was just amazing to get the opportunity to see how the show is created from start to finish, and also to take part in it. All the things that they do take a while to sort out, so you have to admire the effort and work that goes into the show, and having seen these people from Endemol Argentina and Endemol UK do their stuff is brilliant. I wouldn’t quite say I felt like one of the stars of the show but it was something that was sometimes said to us, so that was nice for them to say that. In my eyes, they were the stars, they worked so hard to make us look as good or as silly as possible, so they deserve so much credit for what people see on TV.

Getting ready in the Wipeout tent.

So my group of five was myself, Scottish John, Jody, and Simon and Sheba, the caricaturists. First up was the posing by the house. Jody went up first, and she was absolutely brilliant. They made he pretend to dig with a spade into the ground, and made her growl at the TV. She was excellent and really went for it, and set the tone for all of us to do our posing. Simon and Sheba went afterwards and did individual posing, and posing together, as they’re married. They did some funny stuff like going into the house itself, before Sheba kicked Simon out and stuff like that. Simon was an awesome growler. Scottish John was up next and they made him look like every stereotypical Scottish drinker, something he was concerningly good at playing. He couldn’t growl to save his life though! He kept losing his voice and it was funny. I was last and this is where some of the magic happened. I’ve always been quite decent at roleplay, so I found what they wanted me to do quite easy. They wanted me to pose like a wrestler, growl a lot and stomp in and out of shot, growling. But most importantly, they wanted me to giggle like a little girl.

Now, if you know me personally, I can reach a high pitch quite easily, and almost too well. At my wedding reception, I sung “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen with the highest pitched voice properly, and everyone loved it. So, when they asked me to giggle like a little girl, I knew it would hopefully become TV magic. Sadly (for you!), they never put it on the episode so you'll never see it! Simon, Sheba, Jody and Scottish John were absolutely killing themselves off set when they saw me laughing like a little girl and running around in a camp fashion. I knew I looked an absolute prat but that’s exactly what they want! They want sillyness and I hope I gave them just that!

Thankfully, they didn't put my giggling like a little girl on TV!

Next up was the rotator table posing. I’d like to say that this was not done by a machine, but was done by some poor little Argentinian dude, sitting down, spinning this plate to turn you round and round! Poor guy! We got there before the other five contestants had finished, so we all spoke about what we did and what we had left to do. At that point we were getting so thirsty so we found a nice stash of water and diet coke to drink. Once again, I was last to do the posing. I told you that it’s a common theme that I was either first or last in everything that happened! The posing on the rotator table was quite simple, just smile and keep still while being spun around slowly. There really wasn’t anything else to it. One thing I will say is that Scottish John brought out a whiskey glass and some whiskey to pose on the rotator table with, and he looked like he was in his happy place when he smelt the whiskey while posing. It was excellent stuff.

John II and Whiskey in the John posing on the rotator table. Spun by some little Argentinian dude, poor guy!

Next up was the interview with Amanda. Want to know what happened and more? Come back here tomorrow to find out in Part 4 of 6 of My Winter Wipeout Experience!

If you haven't seen it yet you can see my performance, which was edited by Episode 5 contestant Gemma Murdock below!

You can read part 4 here, part 5 here and part 6 here!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

The Mercy Side: Why I Want a Final Fantasy VI Remake

Before I start this article, I thought I’d announce on my site that I’m currently working on another project, which is listing my Top 50 Final Fantasy Characters. That, fingers crossed, should be starting in a week or so if I can get it finalised and put online, we’ll find out in time. I don’t want to talk about it too much; I’m very excited about this project, and hope any Final Fantasy fans out there will like it too. Now onto the article.

Why I Want a Final Fantasy VI Remake

Warning: This article WILL contain many spoilers, as the content I wish to discuss in detail will have plot and character information. If you are interested in Final Fantasy VI AND VII are not familiar with it, just be aware there are spoilers and therefore, I recommend you don’t read it. Let’s move on.

Final Fantasy VI, or in America , Final Fantasy III, was released roughly in 1994, on the Super Nintendo (SNES). It was the final 2D Final Fantasy game and it was the last on the SNES. It’s currently never been remade; however it has been ported on the Playstation and Game Boy Advance. The game was received remarkably well, citing the best points of a great character set list, a grand soundtrack and a magnificent villain in Kefka. 3 years later, Final Fantasy VII was released on the Playstation, and was not only well received, but is considered the best Final Fantasy of all time. By all means Final Fantasy VII trumped everything Final Fantasy VI did, and is seen as an “inferior brother” of sorts.

In 2005, when working on the Playstation 3, a “technical demo” was released for Final Fantasy VII. It showed the introduction of original game, the first FMV, done with the graphics of the Playstation 3. Fans went, to put it nicely, ape shit, and for the past 5 years, and probably going into the future, have done everything in their power to make their thoughts heard on a total remake. Square-Enix have many times in the past 5 years have said that it’s going to be very difficult; all the members who worked on FF7 are on separate projects and like true professionals, they have ruled out a remake until everyone is on board to see a project happen. As a side note, I’d like to praise Square-Enix for their responses, the last thing I personally would like as a huge fan, is a chopped and changed team, or worse, a separate team altogether, working on such a prestigious and wonderful game. However it really bugs me, no one asks for a full Final Fantasy VI remake. Why?

Before I explain further, I’d like to say I actually, believe it or not, prefer Final Fantasy VII to VI. But the main difference between these games, the thing that separates the three years between them, is the graphics. Between the years of 1994 and 1997, the world of gaming changed forever. Everyone wanted the next generation console, everything was going 3D. Squaresoft (at the time, they are now Square-Enix) were actually going to release it in 2D on the SNES, but with Chrono Trigger’s imminent release (another absolute classic), and it being a priority, the game got postponed. When work resumed, it was too late, 3D was THE thing, and in order to keep up with the market, Squaresoft would have to make the game 3D. After a few tests on some Final Fantasy VI characters (see FF6 tech demo), they realised that it would be better on a CD Rom. With Nintendo still wanting to use cartridges, Squaresoft had no choice but to move to the Playstation. Taking all this into consideration, you can easily see the differences between FF6 and FF7. There may be 3 years apart in time, but in those 3 years, EVERYTHING changed.

You see, Final Fantasy VII does need a remake. Because in 1997 the power of the graphics is nothing in comparison to now, it just looks blotchy and buggy, and, well, inferior. However what people forget, is that it was so close to actually being a 2D game. Can you imagine Final Fantasy VII being 2D? All that made FF7 so memorable was in 3D. Aerith’s death, Sephiroth walking through flames, Cloud on his motorbike. None of these FMV’s would be that great in a 2D game, not to look at anyway.

Now think about what COULD be an FMV in Final Fantasy VI, that wasn’t. What about the War of Magi, which was only referenced but never shown? That could be in FMV. Terra apparently destroys 50 soldiers when she was under control by the Empire – you could show her kicking ass. The opera singing scene with Celes, could be blown up in full FMV, it is after all, one of the most iconic scenes in Final Fantasy history. When Terra transforms into a full Esper, which could be done in FMV. How about the poisoning of the waters of Doma? That could be done in FMV. Most importantly, the end of the World of Balance could be done justice to how important it is, in full FMV.

This epic scene could be so amazing in 3D.

Final Fantasy VII in my opinion was before it’s time, but Final Fantasy VI was WAY before it’s time. The story and the events need a complete overhaul. What really annoys me is that some stubborn modern FF fans won’t even contemplate looking at FF6 because of the graphics. They are missing out on a lot, because of this. At least FF7 has been played by millions and millions of fans, now AND in ’97. Only the hardcore fans really have bought the ports of pre FF7 games. Final Fantasy VI is head and shoulders above the previous 5 games, and even in 2D, holds its head above water amongst the modern games. This is why Final Fantasy VI, in my opinion, should be a priory remake over Final Fantasy VII.

What I Want in a Final Fantasy VI Remake

If there is one job I envy in the world, it’s the people who create video games. I’d love to be a video game designer, but my problem is that I have an imagination, but no contacts, and no physical ability. My imagination is a strong point, but you need more than that to make a video game, you need to be multi talented. But I will give my thoughts to what I personally think a Final Fantasy VI remake should include, or in some cases, should not.

The first thing I’d recommend Square-Enix do is to cut some of the characters out of the game, not completely, but out of the main cast. There are 14 main characters in the game, some very important to the plot, some have very little if anything. Final Fantasy VI has the most main characters in a Final Fantasy game ever. They “boast” about this achievement, but I don’t think it’s a boast-worthy feat. The reason why no game since has had this many characters is because it’s too many characters to balance. Since FF6, there usually are two, three or maybe four core characters to the plot, and then maybe around four or five more characters that make a circle around those people. That’s the best way to build an RPG if you ask me, and it’s worked for Square-Enix since then.

So what do you have with FF6’s characters? Well there are three major characters, that’s for sure. There’s Terra, Locke and Celes, who all in turns take the player through the game. The great thing about these three characters is the debate that fans make about who actually is the main character. Most would agree it’s Terra, but all three can make a claim. I say further this debate, by emphasising and concentrating on all three characters individually throughout the game. Terra and Locke are primarily playing baton in the World of Balance, and Celes is the clear baton holder in the World of Ruin, however I think that you should mix the three throughout both games. That’s obviously difficult due to the plot on the World of Ruin and that’s fine, however when (or if, of course) Terra and Locke join the party, maybe you could have cut scenes made which switches the game’s baton holder on purpose. I don’t need to make an example of what, it could be trivial, or something else that may add extra layers to the plot. But I think that it should be further emphatic that this is a game with not one, but three main characters and I think further fan debate would add to the game.

This scene is still considered a very memorable moment in FF history.

It can be worked on in a remake. I slightly touched on it before, but in the original you have a choice whether or not to recruit the Scooby Gang for the finale against Kefka. You have to have Celes, Sabin and Edgar with you; everyone else is up for grabs. I say cut this out completely, and force the player to find all the characters. It’s fun and required in the original anyway, so remove the choice and force the extra chapters onto the player, giving you more opportunities to do the above paragraph.

Now that the debate is over with regards to the three main characters, I want to talk about the other eleven. I said I want to cut some of them out, so who should be cut out? My answer is to cut out Gao, Mog, Umaro, Gogo and possibly Strago. Why? Well who out of those characters have a huge say in the plot of the game? Possibly Strago, but barely. Gao gives you a diving helmet in the Veldt, Mog and the other moogles help Terra and Locke out in the start of the game. That’s it. These characters, and some I actually quite like, need to be cut out of the main cast, so we can concentrate and prioritise the other characters. I’m not saying get rid of them, just let them be characters in the game, like everyone else. Gao can still give you the diving helmet, hell; you can include the scene where he meets his father, just don’t make it mandatory, and don’t make them into main characters. The same applies with Mog, in fact, I’d think a Mognet would be awesome in this game, and maybe Mog can be a moogle to help you save on the world map, both taken from Final Fantasy IX. It would make Mog useful in another way, and Mognet could add letters similar to the ones in FF9. The others barely have a thing to do in the plot, apart from Strago.

Strago is a difficult one, because of his connections with Relm. Relm is a character I’d like cut out of the game if I had my way, however she is far too important to the plot, particularly Shadow’s plot, and don’t ever make me think about getting rid of Shadow! However Strago could be cut out, if we change the plot slightly. If we make Relm “want” to join the party, and Strago not let her, similar to the original, only for Relm to run away, it can work. It’s the other way round in the original, Strago joins the party, and then Relm wants to. Cut the scene out where Strago wants to join, and you can add Relm in, when she runs away, and sketches Ultros’ portrait, showing her worth to the rest of the party. Have Strago reluctantly agree to this, and it works. If we get rid of all the above characters, that leaves us with 9 characters, which is still a lot, but it’s much more manageable than 14.

Another use of having less main characters to worry about is one of the major flaws in the original game, which is the balance of the characters. Characters like Locke, Celes and Terra, the main characters, are no where near as useful as players like Sabin, Edgar and Cyan. The latter three have very useful individual techniques that don’t require MP, where as the former three can do minor special techniques and magic. I think they should balance it out a bit, either by expanding the former’s techniques, or make the latter techniques MP based.

Speaking of battles, one thing I really want kept in this game is the ATB battle system. Just including the main series, it’s not been used since Final Fantasy IX, which is now 10 years old. I think adding or changing the battle system might make the game less playable, and it would be nice to include the old school ATB system, it’s still my favourite and cannot be beat in my opinion.

The one thing I don’t want disappearing is the multiple party’s function that appears in three parts of the game. I think that could work, even in a 3D FF6 game, and would be quite interesting. If it works out, then maybe we could add it in a future FF game, it’s a unique feature that FF6 carries that emphasises its individuality.

There’s three characters that I believe deserves an expansion in the game’s plot, and they are Celes, General Leo and Ultros. Celes is accused of being an Empire spy at one point in the game, and leaves the party. I think we should expand on this, by actually having Celes have a dilemma about doing what’s right, and her loyalty to the Empire. When Locke saves her, I think there should be a major hint of reluctance on her part to join him, because despite them torturing her, it’s all she’s known. Make her character more complex this way, because then when Kefka debates if she is an Empire spy, you could raise a further case for her to be one. I think Celes shouldn’t be entirely sure of what side she is on through the entire game up until she stabs Kefka on the Floating Continent and finalises her decision on whose side she’s on. I think it would make a great layer to add to the game.

General Leo is probably towards the top of a hypothetical list of underutilised characters in FF history. The great General Leo is a character sworn to do what’s right, he is a very honourable man and never shows any signs of evil. I think his character should be used much more, and have a very similar role to the game that Beatrix has in FF9. I also think General Leo’s death should be in FMV, showing a grave in the sequence at one point, I think his death is one of the most tragic in FF history. You just want to kick Kefka’s ass there and then when he does it.

And last but not least, I want Ultros to have more moments, and more to do with FF6. I don’t want him directly involved in the plot, he is purely comic relief in the game and want him remain that way. However I think he should be in the game more than he is, I want him to randomly appear out of nowhere to annoy the player, and he’s just brilliant at it. He is one of my favourite unimportant characters in FF history and deserves more recognition for being one of the best at his role in the series.

Ultros deserves a bigger role in this game - he's too comical and great not to.

I’d just like to quickly talk about Kefka. When I’ve ever thought about a FF6 remake, I’ve always been concerned about Kefka in full 3D. His cackle is so legendary, and his voice would always be difficult to do. He also, as a clown, looks very odd and doesn’t look like a major villain, more of a joke villain. However all these thoughts disappeared when I played Dissidia, I must give Square-Enix credit for their reincarnation of Kefka, and his full 3D and vocal debut, they did an absolute splendid job and made me want to see this game remade even more.

I now want to talk about making an impact with the scenes in the game. To do this however, I’d say make the game aimed slightly more towards adults, that’s not to say I want it an 18+ game or anything close, but borderline 15+, on the 12+ side. I want some graphic detail in the game, particularly in three scenes. Firstly, I think that an FMV of Terra transforming to Esper form is required, and I think that they should do a full motion sequence of the event. Make it very “American Werewolf in London ”-esque, just slightly less graphic obviously due to the age rating. I really want people to see the transformation; after all, when Terra does change, she can’t control her actions; similar to a werewolf is incapable. I think taking advantage of modern visual graphics would really make the scene quite shocking, and very scary, because in the original the scene doesn’t live up to how important and striking it really is.

The other two scenes in the game I’d like done more maturely have to do with Kefka. The first one is the poisoning of the waters in Doma; I think this could be done in FMV form and make it really bad. I’d compare it to maybe the ending of Blade Trinity, where the Daystar (the vampire poison) kills all the vampires, just slightly less graphic. Really make the player feel sorry for the Doma people, and make it Kefka’s first major crime in the game. I think it would straight away cause great impact, which is what I want more of in this game.

The final thing is the most climatic scene in the entire game – Kefka’s Apocalypse. Kefka is the first (and as far as I’m aware, no FF13 spoilers please, only) major villain to achieve Godhood, and he’s the only major villain to completely destroy the main world of a game. This is very important, and also very dramatic. Squaresoft have done the best they could with what little graphics they had in comparison to now, however they can make it even better. I really think that Kefka’s Apocalypse should be a very long FMV, maybe 5 minutes long, really show the player how big a deal it is. Show them the destruction of all the locations that are not in the World of Ruin being destroyed, think of Final Fantasy X where Sin destroys part of Kilika, just much, much worse. Really hit home the idea that this world will never be the same. I also think that when the destruction scenes are finished, turn the screen to pitch darkness for maybe, 20 seconds, just to give the player that horrible urge that it may be game over. I really think this would be one heck of an impact on the person playing the game, especially for the first time. It’s already an iconic moment in Final Fantasy history – but I think in full 3D in modern times, it could be an iconic moment in video game history, seen as possibly more shocking as Aerith’s death in Final Fantasy VII. Square-Enix have an opportunity to do this, and if I were them, I’d grab it with every chance. They could also make Kefka's final battle, all four forms, look even better than it did when it was 2D. In 2D it looked brilliant, but in 3D, it could be even better.

Conclusion
I want a Final Fantasy VII remake, like a lot of people do. But I want a Final Fantasy VI remake to be prioritised, not because I like the game more, as I said before, I actually don’t. I prefer VII to VI. But at the same time, the three years between these two games were possibly the most important 3 years in video game history. 3D gaming revolutionised the video game history, and that major change in video games made one of these games much more memorable than the other. Final Fantasy VII IS out of date and DOES need a remake. But Final Fantasy VI deserves one before, because it was way before it’s time, and scenes in the game could be much more memorable and effective in a 3D remake. Final Fantasy VII being remade would be nice, but it’s only going to be a crisper version of what it is now. This is a 2D game that deserves a 3D remake. Please Square-Enix, read this article and think about it very carefully. If you don’t, then in the words of Kefka, “I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE you!”

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